Still NO news to report… If you have news I don't have... let me know

O.K. I guess I haven’t really been using this blog as it is intended: as a weblog or online diary. The thing is- I am afraid if I actually wrote down my daily life I would bore everyone to tears. Here is what I will do- I will give you my entire weekly schedule and then you will be good to go for the next few months. You will no longer be kept in the dark on my exciting life.

(This is going to be a little difficult because M went out and purchased this strange new mouse that you control with your fingers instead of your wrist, so I will muddle through this with my pathetic finger coordination)

Schedule:

1. Read a thought or section from an uplifting or inspiring spiritual book and pray that the adoption will go through before we move, that we will receive the child that is right for our family, and blessings to all of my adoption blogger friends, etc.

2. Take care of my kids needs (grooming, clothes, homework, lessons, lunches, chores, etc.) This includes stuff needed to do for the adoption. I have conveniently included reading other adoption blogs and writing in my own here. It makes me feel like I am doing something towards the adoption besides just waiting. I know it isn’t, but just humor me.

3. Exercise/ shower I have a stash of workout videos. I am a little addicted to collecting them. I know you are all grateful for the shower part.

4. School and homework. I am currently enrolled in College Biology with its corresponding Lab. Even though school work is 4th on my priority list, I usually turn everything in last minute. A little history of me- I got an associates degree in 1994 in general education. Since then I have been a stay-at-home mom. I have also substitute taught at my kid’s school. Recently I went back to school to get a degree in Information Systems. I am in a quandary over whether or not I should enroll in school summer semester. I need 24 more credits to graduate. Going full time this could be accomplished in 2 semesters, but with 3+ kids I don’t want to try this. I will probably specialize in databases, so that I can eventually work as a DBA (Database Administrator or System Analyst).

5. Clean my house, laundry and meals. I am really into simplifying these tasks. Simplify your Life by Elaine St. James and Speed Cleaning by someone I can’t remember are great resources.

6. Read for fun. I am currently reading Obsessive Genius- The Inner World of Marie Curie by Barbara Goldsmith. If you think your life is hard, try this book. I am also listening to Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince on tape- this way I can keep up on conversations with my kids.

7. Photos. I usually submit photos monthly to an online contest(such as the photo above). This can also be quite addicting. I would tell you which site I use, except than you will see how poorly my photos do in the contests. The contest is open to any and all professionals from all over the world and lowly little me doesn’t go far. Despite this, it has been great in helping me improve my photography. They usually leave very helpful remarks. Although I have had comments such as: "Your photo sucks". However, I do get ranked much higher than when I first started.

You can see that my husband is not on my priority list. This is because he makes certain that he is somewhere near the top without me having to make any effort towards this end.

Ok- so my priorities sort of outline my schedule. Usually all of those things get some attention weekly.

I don’t know how long this schedule will last. I was informed by an individual recently that society as we know it was going to end very soon. This person (who does not want to be identified) explained to me that workers from China and India are going to overtake American society through advances in technology- the middle class will crash as we become polarized, and life will never be the same again. ( I am regretting recommending the book: The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman to this person who likes to warp everything in to their extremist pessimistic views of the future)

So, if society as we know it ends in the next few days, I will give you an update on how I am surviving.

Most likely; however, life will really change once a referral comes through. I know for sure that life will dramatically change at time of travel and adoption. Like you all, we are welcoming that change!

Labels: self help for adoptive moms, waiting for referral

Since I started this blog I do feel that the time has gone by quicker and I am feeling better today. I truly am happy that things are moving along in Russia for everyone.

However, I was also thinking to myself yesterday- I am sure these other bloggers are thinking- how could she feel sorry for herself for not yet receiving her adoption referral when she already has 3 kids? So I was chastening myself over this thought. And I thought- that is right- so, I don’t have my little girl, but I have a very nice husband and 3 boys. Not to mention that it was my youngest son’s birthday yesterday. So I was really trying to focus on him and the rest of my family. I was telling them how wonderful they all were. I kept telling my husband what a nice guy he was. Finally he told me (perhaps after he had had enough):

Mike: I am not nice!

Jen: You are not nice?

Mike: No, I am just neutral.

Jen: You are neutral? What is that? What are you talking about?

Mike: I am just neutral O.K.

Jen: What about your friends at work- they think you are nice.

Mike: No they don't.

Jen: They think you are neutral?

Mike: They don’t think anything. They don’t think about it.

Jen: I bet they think you are nice. Why would they like you if they didn’t think you were nice?

Mike: They don’t analyze my personality. They just like me or not. I don’t know.

Jen: So, do you think I am nice? Or neutral?

Mike: I just like your personality. It doesn’t matter if you are nice.

Jen: So you don’t think I am nice.

Mike: You are nice, O.K. Everybody is nice! Can we change the subject?

I realized I was bugging everybody in my family with the “nice” thing. So I stopped. But my husband did tell me he loved me as he was walking out the door this morning (which he doesn't do every day), so even though he acted like he was annoyed by me I think he really liked it.

Labels: M, Our 3 sons, waiting for referral

On this particular Russian adoption group thread I responded to a couple who were wondering which agency to choose. Most people were telling them to choose an accredited agency and to avoid non-accredited agencies like the plague.

I wrote:

I think one thing that needs to be brought up is that the agencies that are currently accredited could lose their accreditation when it expires this year and not receive it back right away.

Another consideration is that the unaccredited agencies that are next up for accreditation in the spring ( http://www.jcics.org/Russia.htm ) would be the agencies that would be guaranteed the longest accreditation time. I do not know exactly which of the last 18 or so agencies will receive accreditation in the spring, but if you are just starting it might be to your advantage to wait for these or to use an agency that was just recently accredited.


This was the response I received from a particular individual:

“I find your logic about agencies that are currently accredited possibly not receiving reaccreditation right away, unnecessary and flawed.

If we use the two examples of agencies recently reaccredited, it would seem others will receive theirs in a timely fashion as well. I am not sure why you would make such a statement. Is it only to spread unwanted fear into a community that is already "always on egg shells"?

If it is to be "realistic", then I find your view to be rather pessimistic.”



...Hmmmm… Did I sound pessimistic and like I was spreading fear??

Labels: adoption agencies, FRUA

This is not what I was going to write this morning, but I woke up from an interesting dream.

In my dream Nicole Kidman was giving me advice. I don't know why her.

We were outside in an empty, natural place standing together and she said to me, "Women are obedient. For example, a person will come along and tell you to dig a hole." I respond to her saying, "I will not dig a hole!"

"But", Nicole says, "the person will convince you that if you dig this hole it will do somebody somewhere a lot of good... So you will say "O.K." Then in my dream I start to dig this hole. Nicole continues, "You will sweat and work hard for a very long time digging this hole until it is very, very deep." I continue digging.

"Then," Nicole continues, "after all of your work you will stand back and wait. You will realize after a while that the hole is not doing anyone anywhere any good. You look around and see nothing good coming of it." I start to look discouraged. I am now alone standing by my hole.

Then Nicole appears again and continues, "After awhile the person who told you to dig the hole will come along and say to you- "Jump in the hole". She says, "You will protest". Then I say strongly and adamantly, "I will not jump in the hole!"

Nicole continues, "But by and by as time goes on you will, of course, fall in to the hole." Then I fall in to the hole and I woke up.

I am trying to figure out if there is some significance to this dream. I have never really thought about dream interpretation or believed in that type of thing, but this almost seems like it is some sort of message. Of course, the message might not be for me. It might be for someone who will read this post. Perhaps a person who will read this will know what it means and that it was meant for them. I don't know.

Perhaps I dreamed about Nicole because I knew she has adopted and I am worried about my upcoming adoption. There are so many what ifs.

Labels: international adoption: worries

This week you can celebrate the traditional Maslyanitsa Russian Pancake week. From Monday through Sunday, pancakes are served outdoors with honey, caviar, and fruit. This festival bids good-bye to the winter season with a bonfire- the hotter the fire, the warmer the summer will be. People wear masks and costumes for songs and dances. Its roots are in the old "blini"celebration that mark the coming of spring. A round golden blini pancake was said to represent the sun. Hmmm...sounds good. I am hungry.

Well, you learn something new everyday. Actually I am not in the mood to celebrate today. As I sit here my head still hurts from when I slammed the car door into my head. Yes, it is true. I opened my car door and got smacked in the face. This has never happened to me before, so I didn't even know to look out for it. I think this would be difficult to do even if you were trying to do it on purpose to yourself.

Also, my oldest son came in my room this morning saying that his head hurt. Then he proceeded to go into the bathroom and throw-up. Not into the toilet of course- where one could easily just flush it. He decided it would be a good idea to throw up in the sink. So there it is waiting for me to clean up. My solution is to block that out of my mind and avoid it by writing this blog.

To top the day off it is really cold. It has been really cold lately. In fact January was warmer. I know I don't know anything about cold until I have traveled to Russia in the dead of winter, but I am hoping to avoid that. I want to move to a hot place I have decided. Like Hawaii. Wouldn't that be nice. I bet everyone's life is perfect in Hawaii. How could it not be????

Labels: keeping your adopted child’s culture alive

I fixed some earlier type errors in the English and Russian- so please re-copy this if you used it. Thanks!

When visiting your new child at the orphanage it is a good idea to ask the home doctor and caregivers some questions. By having the list of questions also translated in Russian before them- this makes the process easier for everyone. Below I have written a list of questions in English and then the translation in Russian. You can copy and paste this if you would like to use it.

Before you arrive at the orphanage make sure that you tell your facilitators/translators that you want complete translations of your questions.

February 19, 2006

I fixed some earlier type errors in the English and Russian- so please re-copy this if you used it. Thanks!

When visiting your new child at the orphanage it is a good idea to ask the home doctor and caregivers some questions. By having the list of questions also translated in Russian before them- this makes the process easier for everyone. Below I have written a list of questions in English and then the translation in Russian. You can copy and paste this if you would like to use it.

Before you arrive at the orphanage make sure that you tell your facilitators/translators that you want complete translations of your questions.

Children's Home Questions

1. What is the child’s nap schedule?

1. В какие часы ребёнок спит днём?

2. What is a typical schedule for a 24-hr period?

2. Каков его обычный суточный режим?

3. What type of bed is used?

3. На какой кровати спит ребёнок?

4. Does the child sleep alone in the bed?

4. Ребёнок спит в кровати один?

5. What type of foods does the child like? Any favorites?

5. Какая еда нравится ребёнку? Какое самое любимое блюдо?

6. What type of foods is the child served?

6. Чем кормят ребёнка?

7. How much food does the child eat? Does the child eat well?

7. Сколько ребёнок съедает ? Хорошо ли он ест?

8. When are the children fed?

8. Когда кормят детей?

9. Are there any foods the child dislikes or is allergic to?

9. Какая еда ребёнку не нравится и от какой у него аллергия?

10. Does the child sleep well at night?

10. По ночам ребёнок спит хорошо?

11. When and how does the child go to the bathroom?

11. Когда и как ребёнок ходит в туалет?

12. Does the child have a favorite friend?

12. Есть у ребёнка близкий друг?

13. What does the child spend most of the time doing?

13. Чем ребёнок занимается большую часть времени?

14. What is the child good at?

14. Что у него хорошо получается ? (Что он/она хорошо умеет делать? )

15. What is hard for the child to do?

15. Что ребёнку делать трудно?

16. Has the child had any prior illnesses, s or injuries?

16. Были у ребёнка какие-то заболевания, несчастные случаи, травмы?

17. How does the child act when sick?

17. Как ведёт себя ребёнок, когда болеет?

18. How does the child bathe? With others? How long? Warm or cold water?

18. Как ребёнок купается? С другими детьми? Как долго? В холодной или тёплой воде?

19. How does the child react in the bath/shower? Is the child afraid of the water?

19. Как он реагирует на купание/душ? Боится он воды?

20. What makes the child happy? What toys, games, or songs does the child like?

20. Чему ребёнок радуется? Какие игрушки, игры или песни ему нравятся?

21. What self soothing behaviors does the child have, if any?

21. Каким образом ребенок успокаивается сам, если такое бывает?

22. What makes the child upset?

22. От чего ребёнок расстраивается?

23. How does the child act after doing something wrong?

23. Как он ведёт себя , если сделал что-нибудь плохое?

24. How does the child act when tired?

24. Как он ведёт себя, когда устаёт?

25. When is bedtime and how long does the child sleep?

25. Когда ребёнок ложится спать и как долго он спит?

26. Are there any baby pictures of the child I can have?

26. Могу я получить фотографии ребёнка в младенчестве?

27. Who named the child? Does the child have a pet name or nickname?

27. Кто дал имя ребёнку? Есть ли у него ласкательное имя или прозвище?

28. Where and how was the child brought to the children’s home? What is the child’s story - the history up until now?

28. Где и когда ребёнка принесли/привели в детский дом? Какова история жизни этого ребёнка - его история до настоящего времени?

29. Is the child potty trained and what is the bathroom routine?

29. Ребёнок пручен к горшку? Как часто он ходит в туалет?

30. Is the child afraid of anything, or do you have other emotional concerns?

30. Ребнок боится чего-нибудь? Вас (не) тревожит его эмоциональное состояние?

31. Does the child have any siblings or half-siblings?

31. Есть у него родные, единокровные или единоутробные братья и сёстры ?

32. Are there any mementos of the child’s life I can keep? Toy? Shirt? Etc?

32. Есть какие-нибудь вещи, напоминающие о жизни ребёнка, которые я мог бы взять себе? Игрушка? Рубашка и т.д.

33. What is the child’s ethnic background?

33. Кто ребёнок по национальности?

34. Is there anything special about the child you can relate?

34. Есть что-нибудь особенное в отношении этого ребёнка, о чем вы можете рассказать?

35. Are there any funny stories?

35. Какие-нибудь смешные случаи?

36. Does the child have a favorite caregiver?

36. Есть у ребёнка любимый воспитатель, нянечка?

37. What are your impressions of the child?

37. Каковы ваши впечатления об этом ребёнке?

38. What is the child’s general personality?

38. Каковы личные свойства и особенности характера этого ребёнка?

39. How is the child comforted when upset?

39. Как нужно успокаивать ребёнка, когда он расстроен?

40. Can I have the complete medical record explained to me?

40. Можете вы досконально разъяснить мне медицинскую (обменную) карту ребёнка? (Будьте добры, объясните мне, что написано в медицинской карте)

41. What treatments or tests are recommended for the child after returning home?

41. Какое лечение или анализы рекомендуются ребёнку по возвращении домой?

42. Does the child give and receive affection easily?

42. Ребенок легко отдаёт и принимает любовь? (Как ребенок реагирует на ласку? Ласкается ли сам?)

43. Does the child maintain good eye contact?

43. Ребенок смотрит вам в глаза без проблем?

44. What is the child’s attention span?

44. Каков у ребёнка объём внимания?

45. Is the child equal in language and physical development with the other children in the age group?

45. Ребёнок равен своим сверстникам по развитию речи и по физическому развитию ? (Ребенок как-нибудь отличается от сверстников по физическому равитию и речи?)

46. Where are the birth parents from? What is knows about them?

46. Откуда родом биологические родители ребёнка? Что о них известно?

47. Date of birth of mother?

47. Дата рождения матери?

48. Is the passport number for the mother and/or father available?

48. Имеются ли паспортные данные матери и/или отца?

49. What do the birth parents look like?

49. Как выглядят биологические родители ребёнка?

50. What is the birth parents health like?

50. Каково состояние здоровья биологических родителей ребёнка?

51. Were the birth parents educated? Talents?

51. Родители ребёнка имеют образование? Обладают они какими-либо талантами?

52. Any personal knowledge of birth mother’s truggles?

52. Есть какие-либо сведения о личных проблемах биологической матери?

53. Was it a healthy pregnancy? Full term? Any complications?

53. Беременность была здоровой? Нормальной продолжительности? Без осложнений?

54. Is there any information regarding birth mother’s parents, siblings, etc?

54. Есть какая-нибудь информация о родителях матери, её братьях или сёстрах?

55. Do you have height information on birth parents?

55. Есть сведения о росте родителей?

56. Are there any other records available? i.e. prenatal records, birth certificate, medical records, immunizations, growth records, weight records, milestone records?

56. Есть еще какие-нибудь документы? Например, дородовые записи, свидетельство о рождении, медицинские справки, список прививок, отметки о росте и весе ребёнка?

57. What state of health was the child in when brought to the orphanage?

57. Каково было здоровье ребёнка в момент его поступления в детский дом?

58. Is there any history of prenatal alcohol or exposure or abuse?

58. Есть какие-нибудь сведения о том, что родители злоупотребляли алкоголем или наркотиками до родов?

59. Do you know why has the child not been adopted before now?

59. Вы(не) знаете, почему ребёнка не усыновили/удочерили до сих пор?

60. Will you write your name and a small greeting to the child to be remembered by?

60. Пожалуйста, напишите своё имя и небольшое приветствие ребёнку, на память.

Children's Home Questions

1. What is the child’s nap schedule?

1. В какие часы ребёнок спит днём?

2. What is a typical schedule for a 24-hr period?

2. Каков его обычный суточный режим?

3. What type of bed is used?

3. На какой кровати спит ребёнок?

4. Does the child sleep alone in the bed?

4. Ребёнок спит в кровати один?

5. What type of foods does the child like? Any favorites?

5. Какая еда нравится ребёнку? Какое самое любимое блюдо?

6. What type of foods is the child served?

6. Чем кормят ребёнка?

7. How much food does the child eat? Does the child eat well?

7. Сколько ребёнок съедает ? Хорошо ли он ест?

8. When are the children fed?

8. Когда кормят детей?

9. Are there any foods the child dislikes or is allergic to?

9. Какая еда ребёнку не нравится и от какой у него аллергия?

10. Does the child sleep well at night?

10. По ночам ребёнок спит хорошо?

11. When and how does the child go to the bathroom?

11. Когда и как ребёнок ходит в туалет?

12. Does the child have a favorite friend?

12. Есть у ребёнка близкий друг?

13. What does the child spend most of the time doing?

13. Чем ребёнок занимается большую часть времени?

14. What is the child good at?

14. Что у него хорошо получается ? (Что он/она хорошо умеет делать? )

15. What is hard for the child to do?

15. Что ребёнку делать трудно?

16. Has the child had any prior illnesses, s or injuries?

16. Были у ребёнка какие-то заболевания, несчастные случаи, травмы?

17. How does the child act when sick?

17. Как ведёт себя ребёнок, когда болеет?

18. How does the child bathe? With others? How long? Warm or cold water?

18. Как ребёнок купается? С другими детьми? Как долго? В холодной или тёплой воде?

19. How does the child react in the bath/shower? Is the child afraid of the water?

19. Как он реагирует на купание/душ? Боится он воды?

20. What makes the child happy? What toys, games, or songs does the child like?

20. Чему ребёнок радуется? Какие игрушки, игры или песни ему нравятся?

21. What self soothing behaviors does the child have, if any?

21. Каким образом ребенок успокаивается сам, если такое бывает?

22. What makes the child upset?

22. От чего ребёнок расстраивается?

23. How does the child act after doing something wrong?

23. Как он ведёт себя , если сделал что-нибудь плохое?

24. How does the child act when tired?

24. Как он ведёт себя, когда устаёт?

25. When is bedtime and how long does the child sleep?

25. Когда ребёнок ложится спать и как долго он спит?

26. Are there any baby pictures of the child I can have?

26. Могу я получить фотографии ребёнка в младенчестве?

27. Who named the child? Does the child have a pet name or nickname?

27. Кто дал имя ребёнку? Есть ли у него ласкательное имя или прозвище?

28. Where and how was the child brought to the children’s home? What is the child’s story - the history up until now?

28. Где и когда ребёнка принесли/привели в детский дом? Какова история жизни этого ребёнка - его история до настоящего времени?

29. Is the child potty trained and what is the bathroom routine?

29. Ребёнок пручен к горшку? Как часто он ходит в туалет?

30. Is the child afraid of anything, or do you have other emotional concerns?

30. Ребнок боится чего-нибудь? Вас (не) тревожит его эмоциональное состояние?

31. Does the child have any siblings or half-siblings?

31. Есть у него родные, единокровные или единоутробные братья и сёстры ?

32. Are there any mementos of the child’s life I can keep? Toy? Shirt? Etc?

32. Есть какие-нибудь вещи, напоминающие о жизни ребёнка, которые я мог бы взять себе? Игрушка? Рубашка и т.д.

33. What is the child’s ethnic background?

33. Кто ребёнок по национальности?

34. Is there anything special about the child you can relate?

34. Есть что-нибудь особенное в отношении этого ребёнка, о чем вы можете рассказать?

35. Are there any funny stories?

35. Какие-нибудь смешные случаи?

36. Does the child have a favorite caregiver?

36. Есть у ребёнка любимый воспитатель, нянечка?

37. What are your impressions of the child?

37. Каковы ваши впечатления об этом ребёнке?

38. What is the child’s general personality?

38. Каковы личные свойства и особенности характера этого ребёнка?

39. How is the child comforted when upset?

39. Как нужно успокаивать ребёнка, когда он расстроен?

40. Can I have the complete medical record explained to me?

40. Можете вы досконально разъяснить мне медицинскую (обменную) карту ребёнка? (Будьте добры, объясните мне, что написано в медицинской карте)

41. What treatments or tests are recommended for the child after returning home?

41. Какое лечение или анализы рекомендуются ребёнку по возвращении домой?

42. Does the child give and receive affection easily?

42. Ребенок легко отдаёт и принимает любовь? (Как ребенок реагирует на ласку? Ласкается ли сам?)

43. Does the child maintain good eye contact?

43. Ребенок смотрит вам в глаза без проблем?

44. What is the child’s attention span?

44. Каков у ребёнка объём внимания?

45. Is the child equal in language and physical development with the other children in the age group?

45. Ребёнок равен своим сверстникам по развитию речи и по физическому развитию ? (Ребенок как-нибудь отличается от сверстников по физическому равитию и речи?)

46. Where are the birth parents from? What is knows about them?

46. Откуда родом биологические родители ребёнка? Что о них известно?

47. Date of birth of mother?

47. Дата рождения матери?

48. Is the passport number for the mother and/or father available?

48. Имеются ли паспортные данные матери и/или отца?

49. What do the birth parents look like?

49. Как выглядят биологические родители ребёнка?

50. What is the birth parents health like?

50. Каково состояние здоровья биологических родителей ребёнка?

51. Were the birth parents educated? Talents?

51. Родители ребёнка имеют образование? Обладают они какими-либо талантами?

52. Any personal knowledge of birth mother’s truggles?

52. Есть какие-либо сведения о личных проблемах биологической матери?

53. Was it a healthy pregnancy? Full term? Any complications?

53. Беременность была здоровой? Нормальной продолжительности? Без осложнений?

54. Is there any information regarding birth mother’s parents, siblings, etc?

54. Есть какая-нибудь информация о родителях матери, её братьях или сёстрах?

55. Do you have height information on birth parents?

55. Есть сведения о росте родителей?

56. Are there any other records available? i.e. prenatal records, birth certificate, medical records, immunizations, growth records, weight records, milestone records?

56. Есть еще какие-нибудь документы? Например, дородовые записи, свидетельство о рождении, медицинские справки, список прививок, отметки о росте и весе ребёнка?

57. What state of health was the child in when brought to the orphanage?

57. Каково было здоровье ребёнка в момент его поступления в детский дом?

58. Is there any history of prenatal alcohol or exposure or abuse?

58. Есть какие-нибудь сведения о том, что родители злоупотребляли алкоголем или наркотиками до родов?

59. Do you know why has the child not been adopted before now?

59. Вы(не) знаете, почему ребёнка не усыновили/удочерили до сих пор?

60. Will you write your name and a small greeting to the child to be remembered by?

60. Пожалуйста, напишите своё имя и небольшое приветствие ребёнку, на память.

Labels: Russian Adoption, waiting for referral

As I continue waiting for my Russian adoption to move forward, I try to find interesting pursuits to pass the time. I stumbled upon this great beauty book.

I am not a huge fan of the show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” on Bravo, but one of the beauty experts on that show is Kyan- and I am a big fan of his. He is a grooming guru. So I thought I would share some of his tips summarized from his wonderful book called "Beautified".

Morning-
Do 30 min. exercise at least 4 x a week
Shower/ wash hair at least every other day
Wash face with wash that is appropriate for your skin type
(Facial cleansers that foam are for oily skin and cream washes are for dry skin)
Exfoliate every other day (Kyan says that it is his mission to get more women to exfoliate, to get a good exfoliant you might have to pay more, but it is worth it)
Towel dry hair and keep hair in towel
Tone with astringent/toner only oily areas (this may be your T-Zone area, your whole face or if you don’t have any oily areas, skip this part)
Use oil-free face lotion with antioxidants Vitamin C, E and SUNSCREEN
Use eye-cream specific to your needs (dark circles, sunscreen, wrinkles, etc.)
Use tinted moisturizer or foundation if desired
Use hand cream with sunscreen in it (your hands can start to give away your age sooner than your face if you don’t protect them)
Use scented body lotion that matches your perfume if desired
Wear minimal make-up for day (concealer, mascara, lip gloss)
Comb out hair with wide-tooth comb
Comb a heat protecting hair product through hair if using a blow dryer, irons, etc.
If possible air-dry hair until almost dry and blow dry, curl as necessary
Wear more make-up for going out if desired
Always wear sunglasses outdoors

Evening-
Never wear make-up to bed
Wash Face with wash that is appropriate for your skin type
Tone with astringent any oily areas (see explanation above)
If needed, rub a small amount of acne treatment into problem areas; i.e. Benzyl Peroxide or Retin-A cream (prescription) let dry before covering with lotion
Use heavier night lotion with AHA or BHA incorporated in it
Use eye-cream specific to your needs (dark circles, wrinkles, etc.)
Brush teeth and gums (preferably with a high quality electric toothbrush) and floss (don’t skip the floss! I know. I know. Do it anyway)

You are on your way to becoming BEAUTIFIED!

Labels: self help for adoptive moms

I could have woken up today upset and pessimistic about our stalled adoption process, but an incredible thing happened this morning. My eyes were opened and I saw that I woke up in a soft bed with warm blankets, in a climate-controlled environment and a roof over my head.

I said, “Have a good day” to my handsome husband as he dashed out the door and headed to his work that allows him to bring home money to amply support our family.

I headed into an indoor bathroom with a private toilet seat and indoor plumbing and a sink with running water and soap. There was even lotion to use afterwards. I walked down a soft, carpeted hallway to my see my healthy children sleeping and to wake them for the day.

I was able to give them nice, clean clothes to wear that were not cleaned by me, but by an automatic washing and drying machine. I was then able to go into a room where clean dishes awaited me, in a machine that washed the dishes while I slept. Next, I simply opened the cupboard to find cereal that had already been made and packaged and delivered to my area, which I had easily picked up earlier from the store.

I just needed to pour it in the bowls. Remarkably I was able to give myself and my children hot or cold food in an instant thanks to the miracle of the microwave and the refrigerator, which has kept our food fresh for weeks.

I was even able to give them fresh-squeezed orange juice from Florida and Brazil that I didn’t pick or squeeze and milk from cows that I didn’t milk. And then, incredibly I was able to send my kids out the door, where safe, free and climate-controlled transportation whisked them off to a day of free education.

Then I put a couple of letters in our mailbox, conveniently located right in front of our house that will go across the nation for pennies. Delivered right to their door.

Later on I was able to sit down in front of this computer and write this blog and send it out to cyberspace with hopes that someone might see it and realize what an amazing life they have.

Labels: self help for adoptive moms, waiting for referral

My husband came home from Walmart today with a Batman and Darth Vader mask.

Not for our kids, but for himself.

I am not sure what his plans are for these masks, but I am sure he will surprise us all at breakfast one morning or sometime when we are not expecting Batman or Darth Vader to arrrive.

If you don't already have children, I am warning you that your husband (or other male figures in your life) might turn into somebody you have never met before when your new child arrives home.

The first sign of it in our family is when M put a lamp shade on his head in order to make our baby laugh.

This is not something I forsaw when we were dating and he was all about "looking cool".

I guess I did have a clue on Halloween when he painted his face and wore a wig akin to a member of the KISS rockband.

I find; however, that humor is one of the only things that gets you through the tough times with kids.

So if you find your husband turns into the family clown, count yourself lucky.

Labels: M

I saw this in a magazine and I thought I would share it:

Labels: waiting for referral

I stopped to take a look at this toilet that was just sitting in somebody's front yard. Hmmm interesting lawn decoration. It is a good thing that they put that "Out Of Order" sign up. I might have been tempted to use it. Lisa- can your husband put this in his stupid campaign?

A while ago I attended my middle son's latest belt test for Karate. It turned out to be a life changing experience. Imagine a room about half the size of a school gym packed with parents and family members, I mean packed, packed, packed all around the perimeter. The kids are drilled through a series of karate skills to see if they are up to par. Everything was going along fine- I could tell that the kids were all well-practiced and disciplined, but then came the boards.

The kids have to chop the boards in half with their elbows. One by one each child successfully chopped their board (my son included, whew). Then came the very last boy in line to chop his board. He set up to hit the board and with a yell "Yah!" he hit the board. It did not break. He tried again and again. The room was dead silent. You could have heard a pin drop. I could tell the boy was humiliated. The pressure must have been so strong. His embarrasment clearly apparent- close to tears. However, he kept on trying- again and again and again. The board remained unbroken. The silence was deafening.

Finally his instructor walked over to him. The boy seemed ashamed and was looking down. The instructor knelt down and looked him in the eye and said slowly, "Do You Believe You Can Do It?" There was a short pause, then, "Yes. Sir."

And with one last try he split that board. You should have heard the applause. Everyone was crying (well the mothers).

And now, when I find the adoption process difficult or if I feel discouraged at something I think back to the instructors words, "Do You Believe You Can Do It?" And than I know that I can.
True, True Story!

Happy Valentines Day!

Labels: extra-curricular activities for kids, self help for adoptive moms, waiting for referral

A while ago I attended my middle son's latest belt test for Karate. It turned out to be a life changing experience.

Imagine a room about half the size of a school gym packed with parents and family members, I mean packed, packed, packed all around the perimeter. The kids are drilled through a series of karate skills to see if they are up to par. Everything was going along fine- I could tell that the kids were all well-practiced and disciplined, but then came the boards.

The kids have to chop the boards in half with their elbows. One by one each child successfully chopped their board (my son included, whew). Then came the very last boy in line to chop his board.

He set up to hit the board and with a yell "Yah!" he hit the board. It did not break. He tried again and again. The room was dead silent. You could have heard a pin drop. I could tell the boy was humiliated. The pressure was intense. His embarrasment clearly apparent- close to tears. However, he kept on trying- again and again and again. The board remained unbroken. The silence was deafening.

Finally his instructor walked over to him. The boy seemed ashamed and was looking down. The instructor knelt down and looked him in the eye and said slowly, "Do You Believe You Can Do It?" There was a short pause, then, "Yes. Sir."

And with one last try he split that board. You should have heard the applause. Everyone was crying (well the mothers).

And now, when I find the adoption process difficult or if I feel discouraged at something I think back to the instructors words, "Do You Believe You Can Do It?" And than I know that I can.

Labels: what to teach your kids

We are having a snow day here in Maryland. Everything shuts down in the east with even the thought of snow. Not being originally from here I find it odd, but kind of nice.

On to my main subject for today. Here are some ideas of things to do while waiting for re-accreditation and/or a referral.

1- Plan a short trip (besides the Russia trip, not too elaborate, but somewhere fun).
2- Enjoy more dark chocolate (My favorite is Godiva Chocolate: Dark Chocolate Truffle Hot Cocoa, $10 from Amazon).
3- Purchase an electric toothbrush (My favorite is Philips Sonicare).
4- Get outside (take a walk, make a snow fort, ride a bike, take pictures, hike).
5- Start your child's Life Book (Click here).
6- Create a list of the adoption books you want to read. Check out what is available from your local library, put the rest on your Amazon wish list and purchase them as you can.
7- Take more hot baths- with bubbles, candles and music.
8- Purchase your favorite magazine.
9- Play video games.
10- Eat more whole grains.
11- Study about Russian culture, history and learn some phrases or (Click here).
12- Study from a spiritual book daily.
13- Watch more comedy.
14- Don't let email and the internet distract you from your life.
15- Start an exercise program mixing aerobics with strength training.
16- Pray and meditate. Yoga is optional.
17- Take an online international adoption course (Click here).
18- Sing in the car.
19- Purchase some Russian Toys (Click Here).
20- Add your phone numbers to the national do not call registry to end telemarketer calls (Click here).
21- Contribute to charities after you have researched them here (Click here)
22- Look through my favorite links and find some of your favorites.
23- Learn how to pay all of your bills online.
24- Cancel your credit cards that are not good deals. Research cards here
25- Get Skype and make calls for free. (Click here)
26- Give your spouse or significant other a massage. Go all out with music, oils, etc.
27- Keep all of your important documents in a large firebox.
28- Purchase a DVR if you are one of the last people in the nation who don't have one.
29- Forget housecleaning. Purchase a Roomba and a Scooba.
30- Commit to being more truthful.
31- Research your family tree and learn about your ancestors.
32- Spend some time at the library or bookstore and find something that speaks to your heart.
33- Set some goals and think about what you want your life to be about.
34- Don't eat anything that has transfats (like margarine).
35- Plant some flowers in the spring. Bring some indoors.
36- Make sure you have a living will and trust.
37- Collect more of your favorite music.
38- Join a support group (such as your local FRUA chapter).
39- Get your visa paperwork filled out as much as possible.
40- Start to pack your luggage for Russia.
41- Subscribe to Google Alerts (Russian Adoption), Yahoo international adoption groups (Russia, orphanage region, your state), A-PARENT-RUSS Digest
( http://www.eeadopt.org/index.php?option=com_facileforms&Itemid=48 )
42- Start an adoption blog at www.blogger.com. Read others.
43- List your priorities and stick to them.
44- Start to write a book.
45- Participate in your favorite sport.
46- Make something for somebody- be creative.
47- Decorate your new child's room.
48- Plan out the steps you will take once you receive your referral.
49- Do the laundry.
50- Spend time with family and friends who love and support you.

Just some ideas!

Labels: fun family activities, waiting for referral

I posted a couple of photos of our boys- so now you know it is true. We are over run with testosterone in this home. We are in desperate need of a girl to tilt the balance to the other side.

I was at a FRUA event on Wednesday evening (MNO) and I was talking about how I was worried that my boys might be a little too rough and tumble for a little girl in the house. However, the other FRUA members assured me that a little girl would change their ways and they would be very gentle. I guess we will see.

I also brought up "adoption blogs" at the Frua event. Someone mentioned that she hates the word "blog". I was so glad she said that because I really have never liked the word. In fact, I hesitated starting one because I so dislike the word. Couldn't they have just stuck with the word log or logging. I mean blog sounds so bloggy, bleggy, soggy or something. Perhaps they could have called it something cleaner or smarter. Well I suppose they could have called it webbing (from weblog instead of blogging) and we could have all felt like a great big family of ducks or perhaps spiders.

Labels: FRUA

Our princes

Labels: Our 3 sons

Review and Update on Mike and Jen's Adoption

We began the adoption process May 2005 to adopt a 0-24 month-old girl from Russia and by December 24, 2005 all adoption paperwork was officially turned in to Russia and accepted. It was after a lot of prayer and pondering that we chose the adoption agency that we felt was the one to assist us in bringing our new daughter home.

Our agency is Wide Horizons For Children in Massachusettes. They are a large, well-respected agency that usually works in 9 different regions in Russia. However, they, along with all of the other agencies lost accreditation to go forward with adoptions in Russia last year. This has reduced their working regions to 2. Currently most of the other Russian adoption agencies have since received accreditation. Only about 18 agencies out of 50 have been left unaccredited. Unfortunately one of these still unacccredited agencies is Wide Horizons For Children. However, despite this setback they have still been able to complete some adoptions.

This will not be the case for us though because it would require our homestudy agency (local) to do extra work for us, which they will not do. So, WHFC has informed us that we should not expect a referral of a child until the agency receives re-accreditation. The latest news we heard is that there will be another round of re-accreditations in the Spring of 2006.

Russia has told WHFC that they are in good standing and that their re-accreditation would occur soon, but did not give an exact date. Another representative from WHFC will be traveling to Moscow to give us further news mid-February.

When WHFC was accredited the wait for a referral (a referral- for those who may not know- is when they send you a name, picture and medical record of your prospective adoptive child) was about 4 months. Then it turned into 6 months and than into 8. That is the last that I have heard.

So, if that is still holding true, we should expect a referral sometime between May-August 2006. Then we will wait another 0-3 months to travel to Russia and meet the child. After we return, we will wait another 0-6 months before we get a court date and can return to Russia to bring the child home. So, according to this timeline the earliest the adoption could take place is July 2006 and the latest that the adoption could take place is June 2007. It actually can't go longer than this because we will be moving out of Maryland in July 2007. If you move out of the home and state you currently live in you would have to start the adoption process completely over. Currently, we don't plan on attempting that.

We would really like to give a Russian orphan a "forever family". We ask for your prayers.

Labels: adoption agencies, waiting for referral

Thank you so much to Lisa (Elle) for designing my site. Highly recommended!

Do you see the fairy in the picture? That is how I see my new daughter- a beautiful, fragile creature- not quite real yet- flying down from heaven like an angel.

It is strange to think that our daughter could be alive right now (most likely) somewhere out there. I wonder what is going on.

I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have already met her and be waiting. Because I don't have a specific image in my mind it is easier to wait.

I am glad to be waiting along with you all.

Labels: waiting for referral

O.K. New concern. Someone posted a message to the Russian_adoption group (which I am not a part of now) that said...

"...letters have been sent out to the families. Yep, some "lucky" families were told that "Gee, we are sorry that we can't complete your adoptions. You are in our prayers". Oh, here is your refund." ...Then some families received a letter that says, "Let us know if you want us to continue on your international adoption. HOWEVER, IF we aren't accrediated by April 1 we are giving your money back. You are in our prayers."

Hmmmm. I don't know what agency is being referred to here, but at least they offered a refund, if nothing else. I am just wondering- have some agencies given up? Because I thought it was certain that eventually all of the agencies would get reaccredited. I just wish I knew what was going on for real. My husband has decided the "denying it will ever happen approach" is best.

I was looking through a catalog of toddler gadgets and clothes and suggesting to Mike that we get this backpack baby bag, instead of the traditional kind. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "See this... we should get this backpack baby bag."
Mike shaking his head: "I think we would need a baby for that."
Me: "We are getting a baby."
Mike: " I'll believe it when I see it."

This is why we don't have any baby stuff yet. Nothing. We have a room with a bed. Not even a girly bedspread. It's just blue.

I argue, "All of the other adoption bloggers show off their nurseries and baby clothes and new quilts." This doesn't faze him.

So what is going to happen is that when the referral DOES come. We will be woefully unprepared. I just need you all to agree with me so I can get some more support and ammunition to back up my argument. This way I can go on a shopping spree for cute baby girl stuff.

Of course, then it might be harder if the wait goes on and on and I am staring at all of the unused things. Do you all find that to be the case?

Labels: waiting for referral, what to buy for your adopted child

Labels: M

Russia Adoption: I found the most up to date list on current and newly accredited agencies here: http://www.usembassy.ru/consular/consular.php?record_id=adoptions
You have to scroll down to find the list, but it is there.

I subscribe to this great email service called Google alerts. My subject: Russian adoption. So all of the current news articles on Russian adoption are sent right to my email box once a day. There was a really moving story today about an adoption of an older child and the hunt for her sibling from the Boston.com news. I think I might consider adopting an older child when I am older. I am not sure. I will think about it. Right now we have requested a little girl 0-24 months. I think that will fit best into our family.

I will really try to keep this blog current. I don't like it when I am following a blog that interests me and then all of a sudden they stop writing, or there are big chunks of time between submissions. So, I will try not to do that. I also like to see photos on other's sites, so I will try to post photos periodically.

Labels: Russian Adoption

Mike and Jen2

Labels: jeneflower, M

O.K. so January came and went and no reaccreditation news from my agency so far. I heard the U.S. agencies: FTIA = Families Thru International Adoption, Wyoming Childrens Society, and Hand in Hand (not sure on this one) got reaccredited, along with Adoption Horizons and Caring Homes For Orphan Children both from Canada. Our agency is Wide Horizons For Children (USA), but I know a lot of people waiting for Alaska International Adoption Agency (USA) to be accredited as well.

We have good friends who adopted through AIA and highly recommended them to us. I interviewed Olga from AIA and she seemed really nice, but the problem was that I have a hard time understanding people with accents. I think I am retarded in this area.

In fact, I used to think I wanted to be a medical transcriptionist. You know, one of those perfect work-at-home kind of jobs. I thought I would be ideal because I like to type and I type fast. However, the reality is that medical transcriptionists listen to poor recordings of doctors speaking complicated medical terminology with a variety of really strong accents, and then they expect a professional written report out of it. This is when I found out that I was deficient in understanding other people speak.

Hello. I grew-up in a small town in Utah. There are no accents there. Everyone speaks the same there. Come to think of it, everyone looks the same there. You know what, everyone is the same there. It is like entering the Twilight Zone. No, I am kidding. Utah is very nice. I miss the mountains, the ski lodges, the sunny snow days and the low traffic. Not to mention the low threat of terrorist attacks (we currently live in the metropolitan Washington DC area). We might even move back some day.

Labels: adoption agencies, waiting for referral

Everyday I have these plans on my To Do list. Now this list would get accomplished everyday if I didn't have to pass by my computer every time I go in my bedroom. I think the computer has a force that pulls me in and I just have to check my emails and my other saved sites that might have news on reaccreditation and my adoption referral. I keep thinking that if I do enough Google searches I will actually find the news I am looking for.

Today my plan was simple. Finish the Laundry, Finish my Science Lab homework, Exercise ( I have a collection of workout tapes), Shower, Go to the Library, Pick up my son. It is almost 4PM and the laundry is partly finished on my bed behind me and do you see me finishing it? OK I am now going to finish the laundry. REALLY. OK I will get to it....

tomorrow.

Labels: waiting for referral