Wednesday, February 08, 2006
It Will Happen: Waiting For Referral
O.K. New concern. Someone posted a message to the Russian_adoption group (which I am not a part of now) that said...

"...letters have been sent out to the families. Yep, some "lucky" families were told that "Gee, we are sorry that we can't complete your adoptions. You are in our prayers". Oh, here is your refund." ...Then some families received a letter that says, "Let us know if you want us to continue on your international adoption. HOWEVER, IF we aren't accrediated by April 1 we are giving your money back. You are in our prayers."

Hmmmm. I don't know what agency is being referred to here, but at least they offered a refund, if nothing else. I am just wondering- have some agencies given up? Because I thought it was certain that eventually all of the agencies would get reaccredited. I just wish I knew what was going on for real. My husband has decided the "denying it will ever happen approach" is best.

I was looking through a catalog of toddler gadgets and clothes and suggesting to Mike that we get this backpack baby bag, instead of the traditional kind. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "See this... we should get this backpack baby bag."
Mike shaking his head: "I think we would need a baby for that."
Me: "We are getting a baby."
Mike: " I'll believe it when I see it."

This is why we don't have any baby stuff yet. Nothing. We have a room with a bed. Not even a girly bedspread. It's just blue.

I argue, "All of the other adoption bloggers show off their nurseries and baby clothes and new quilts." This doesn't faze him.

So what is going to happen is that when the referral DOES come. We will be woefully unprepared. I just need you all to agree with me so I can get some more support and ammunition to back up my argument. This way I can go on a shopping spree for cute baby girl stuff.

Of course, then it might be harder if the wait goes on and on and I am staring at all of the unused things. Do you all find that to be the case?

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Blogger Rhonda said...
Brian is the SAME way. It seems like the guys are much more protective not to get their hopes up. I know John was the same way with Lauri. We haven't done a nursery yet either for the same reason. Brian is coming around, but it took a long time. He doesn't believe any of the reaccreditation rumors anymore, so it can be hard becase you're happy and excited and he's really not...
I'm just now starting to decorate the nursery because I believe its time. Its weird because once we started shopping, Brian started coming around and getting into it.
I think what Mike's doing is totally normal.

Blogger Rhonda said...
Sorry to leave two comments, but on the agency piece...I know that through waiting on reaccreditation, some agencies are being starved out. They have no income coming in and they're going under. That could be what's going on here.

Blogger Margaret said...
Jen - Question. Did you agency just lose their accreditation in December 2005? Or am I misunderstanding your first post?

Blogger Elle said...
We were one of the odd couples. We started painting A's room before we even had a referral. I even picked blue and green not knowing I was getting a boy!
D is excited, but he has now curtailed my shopping since we have no clue what size this kid is anymore.
Mike will see that picture and just melt. Have faith. All of our names have to be pulled out of the asshat soon!

I agree with Rhonda on the going under part. I know these agencies are struggling. They are hanging on by a thread.

Blogger Tricia said...
I belong to the Russian_Adoption group and saw that post. There has been no mention of what agency that was. If I am remembering correctly, the PAP who wrote the email has been trying to bring home their child after hosting (a long time ago).

If you husband doesn't want you shopping for your future daughter, you could always threaten to use the money for some new shoes or a handbag! Retail therapy works wonders. Just think how much you are saving, $150/hour? :)

Blogger jeneflower said...
For Margaret- I am not sure exactly when our agency lost accreditation last year. I was so busy doing our homestudy and dossier paperwork that I wasn't really paying attention to that. However, I think they were one of the last agencies to lose their accreditation because when I was first looking into going with WHFC (during the first part of 2005)other agencies had lost their accreditation, but WHFC was still accredited.

Blogger Margaret said...
Whew! I'm glad I misunderstood. If your agency has JUST lost accreditation that would have been very bad. As it is, your just in the same (annoying, frustrating, confusing, oh-my-gosh-why-don't-they-just-sign-certificates-already) waiting game that Lisa, Rhonda, and I are in.

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