Labels: after adoption: transitioning successfully, bonding activities with your adopted child

Some of you have asked about Piney's Adoption Life Book. I can offer some suggestions- based on what I did- but there are no hard and fast rules.

How To Make Your Adoption Life Book

1. Purchase a large 3 ring binder 2.5 or 3 in.

2. Purchase card stock in the colors you choose. You will be taping your photos to the card stock

3. Purchase plastic sheet protectors. You will cover your photo pages with these and put them in your binder.

4. Start with your child's birth photo and birth record (certificate)- and whatever information you have. We only had a blurry photo copy of her birth photo- use whatever you have. If you don't have anything- draw a picture and write in a general happy birth story.

5. Next page is any information about your child's bio parents esp. something about why they put your child up for adoption (make it up if you don't know- your best guess)

6. Anything about the child's life at the hospital or orphanage (the name of it/ pictures)

7. Next is about you and your family and why you wanted to adopt (pics, information)

6. Next is your adoption story with pics

7. Pictures of the first year home- or as long as you want- in chronological order with accompanying descriptive text.


I hope that helps!

You can also add cute things your child does or says. You think you will always remember, but you won't!

Piney has a lot of good material here. We often have funny conversations such as the following:


Piney: Mommy, Santa Claus hit me AGAIN! Right in my tummy mommy like this (demonstrates a really strong hit to her stomach)

Me: Did you tell him to stop.

Piney: Yeah. (she turns around and speaks to the air) NO NO SANTA CLAUS STOP RIGHT NOW!!!

Me: You feel better now.

Piney: Yeah. I'm all beter now.

Me: Oh good.

or

Me: Piney don't get into the peanut butter please.

Piney: My mommy said I CAN get the peanut butter.

Me: I am your mommy Piney.

Piney: Oh yea.

or

Mom: Piney, I know you think you are in charge, but mommy and daddy are in charge. When we say not to do something than you need to listen. We are the parents and you are the child. Do you understand?

Piney: I'm NOT a child! Mommy I'm NOT! I'm NOT a child. I'm a BOY!

Mom: You are a girl honey. (Trying to make her feel a connection to me) You and I are both girls. It's fun to be a girl.

Piney: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Falls to the floor hiding her face)

Me: (Blinking in bewilderment)
------------------------------------

Any other suggestions on what to include in a Life Book?

Labels: bonding activities with your adopted child

Happy 4th of July!

Since we will be on an island in Korea (that will obviously not be celebrating the 4th of July)

I am celebrating early by wishing you all a great celebration day!

I hope you have fun plans with family and friends.

I really miss the U.S.A. and with the rising cost of flying (due to fuel prices) I don't know when we will be able to get back there again. I hope next year.

There might be a way we can fly free by hitching a ride on a military plane that is already going there.

We are looking into it.

I heard you have to wear ear plugs on those flights. Hmmmm.

Anyway, we have been soaking in the lazy days of summer.

Can you believe that I FINALLY finished Piney's Life Book?????

Yes. After all of this time. I started it in Fall 2006 and haven't had time to really devote to the task until now.

Yesterday I had some friends over (our knitting group) and my friend looked at it and it made her cry- so I know it turned out like I wanted for Piney.

It starts from just before our adoption, including all of our trips to Russia, her baby shower and the first six months home.

It was fun to relive the memories.

The first months home with a newly adopted child is VERY exciting, but also VERY challenging- so now that things are much easier- those first months have glossed over into only fond memories.

It is funny how our memories do that- as we remember the good old days and forget all the hard parts.

I've also been experimenting with different recipes this past week. Some have turned out well, others not so much. I will share my made up recipes with you in my next post. The ones that worked well of course!

Happy Independence Day again!

Labels: bonding activities with your adopted child

Pineapple Princess hit the mother-load yesterday as a large box of pampering Johnson & Johnson products came in the mail for her.

Camp Baby had come through.

"For ME???" Piney squealed excitedly.

"For YOU Honey! You are going to have the bath of your dreams!"

"Yea! Yea!" (Piney jumping up and down)

Since I wasn't able to attend Camp Baby, Johnson & Johnson sent Camp Baby to me.

We received a personal letter from Lori Dolginoff, the Global Director of JOHNSON'S Baby, a computer CD with videos, graphics, and information about the company, Johnson & Johnson moisture care baby wash, Johnson's Baby natural lavender shampoo, Johnson's baby lotion and Johnson's baby cream.

Pineapple gets regular morning baths and massages, so it was EXTRA special to be able to use all of this new awesome stuff. We have been doing the massages regularly to help facilitate attachment ever since we brought Pineapple home from Russia last year. She really looks forward to it.

After her pampering this morning with her new lotions she said,"I smell good mama!"

The cool thing too, was that the whole computer CD was about baby massage. They even gave tips. I will share them with you:


A Mother's Touch: Bonding through Massage

step 1. Warm JOHNSON’S® Baby Lotion in your hands before beginning. While holding
baby’s heel in one hand, use the other to stroke from her bottom up to her foot.
Don’t squeeze; just relax your hand and mold it to your baby’s leg as you go.
Repeat this motion in reverse.

step 2. Hold her foot with one hand while you rotate each toe gently with the other hand. Then, with your thumb pressed against the sole of baby’s foot, flex her foot up and down. Repeat.

step 3. Roll your baby’s legs from the knee to the ankle with the same smooth motion you would use to roll strings out of soft clay.

step 4.With your fingers against baby’s forehead, slide
your hands down her face, gently massaging
her temples. With your thumbs alongside her
nose, move your hands across her cheeks so
she peeks between them.

step 5. Making small circles with your fingers, massage both
sides of your baby’s jaw, close to her earlobes. Make
larger circles around the back of her ears and come
up under her chin, pressing forward so she has a double
chin. Make sure to top off your baby’s massage
with a few loving words in a warm, soothing voice


The coolest thing; however, is that Johnson & Johnson didn't forget that moms need pampering too and they threw in some classic and new items from Neutrogena for me to try as well:



















This company has won me over.

Not only because they sent me free stuff. I have always liked their products. I have used Neutrogena's Healthy Skin lotion for a long time with great results.

After using Neutrogena'a Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Intensive Night Cream and Neutrogena's Age Shield Face Sunblock with SPF 70 that they sent me I don't think I will ever get another wrinkle. In fact I think I will stay 36 forever. Cool.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that the Neutrogena Moisture Shine Lip Soother SPF 20 that they sent is AWESOME. The moisture lasts and it smells REALLY good- trust me. Click on the links to read Amazon's reviews.

Beyond their product quality, I also admire their commitment to being socially responsible. The Better World Shopping Guide ranks Neutrogena, Johnson & Johnson and Aveeno (all owned by the same company) the second highest socially responsible large corporation in their field, only under Aveda.

I want to spread the love! Leave a comment on my blog and I will randomly draw two names. One winner will get a Neutrogena 3-in-one Concealer for eyes (medium 15 shade) and the other person will get a Neutrogena healthy volume mascara- 400% fuller lashes with olive and sweet almond.

Good luck!

Labels: bonding activities with your adopted child, what to buy for your adopted child

I promise that this is not turning into a celebrity blog-

but when you find out they are going to show a movie premier of

Iron Man (coming to Theaters May 2)

at the movie theater across the street from your house and the Director ( Jon Favreau) and Star (Robert Downey Jr.) will be there

and so you go to it and Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. sit in the row right in front of you while you watch the movie that they are in

and then you shake hands with both the Director and Star following the movie premier and say something stupid like,

"Good job!" in the same tone of voice you would say to your preschooler when she goes poopy potty-

You mention it.

And ya it was weird and that happened yesterday.

Good action movie BTW. Recommended.

Even has a moral about corporate corruption and stuff.

But that is NOT why I am a savvy mom. Although it is O.K. if you would like to differ.

More importantly, WAY more importantly

I turned into a savvy mom through this really cool site for moms of infants, toddlers and preschoolers.

The home page has a great new Earth blog (with great activity ideas).

But don't stop there. The coolest thing is the Savvy Quiz

1. You take the Quiz about your child.

2. You get a Progress Portrait of your child.

3. You get personalized recommendations on how to bring your child up to speed in all areas of development. Many FREE activity ideas.

It is a very cool resource. Check it out HERE.

Let me know what you think!

Labels: adopted child: developmental delays, bonding activities with your adopted child

Well I just got the news.

Unfortunately, "Johnson and Johnson" cannot provide international flights for Camp Baby.

Sigh.

Despite the controversy, I was so excited to get invited to this conference, but a flight to the states is cost prohibitive.

The good news is they are sending me a package of the presentation materials discussed at the Camp, as well as Johnson's Baby products.

Pineapple will be so excited. She loves lotions and stuff. Rubbing lotion is still a great bonding activity.

I can also feel good about it because Johnson and Johnson is a socially responsible company and even though it isn't organic, it gets high marks for it's awesome policies. READ HERE.

Yesterday I was actually thinking of making my own rich lotion with this recipe that uses baby lotion as an ingredient.

I have been thinking about making my own cleaners too.

I was out of laundry detergent yesterday and my kids were out of clean clothes, so I did a little research and I found a basic recipe for making my own detergent.

I didn't have the ingredients listed, so I decided to experiment. For people who know me this is no surprise.

I had a little Woolite (about 3/4c.)- so I took a bar of soap and started shaving it into a cup of boiling water. It soon turned into a gel-like substance. I let it cool for a little while and then I added the Woolite and mixed it together.

I then used about 2 T. for each load of laundry.

It worked great! I was able to get a whole weeks laundry done (from our trip) with just a little bit of Woolite on hand. I am going to try to get the "real" recipe ingredients next time I am at the store.

This could save a lot of money over time. It will also cut down on our trash and it is better for the environment. I am going to keep a back up of my favorite commercial laundry on hand, but it is expensive- so only for emergencies!

As I was looking for laundry detergent recipes I found recipes for tons of other stuff- such as dishwasher detergent and other cleaners. I can even make my own Softscrub!

And the great thing is- it is all SUPER easy!

Do you have a great "make-it-yourself" recipe? Share it!

Labels: bonding activities with your adopted child, self help for adoptive moms

I had a long list of activities to do with Pineapple when she arrived, but I have learned that they aren't all equal in terms of attachment. Pushing your child in a stroller for a daily walk or taking them to museums or playing sports, etc. with your child is great and creating experiences withthem is fun, but as far as bonding I have found the following activities the best for adopted or biological toddlers.

1. Lotion- massage your child and let your child put lotion on you

2. Sing songs to each other

3. Stretch exercises on a mat together

4. Feed your child

5. Read to each other

6. Draw and share your pictures (ABCs, numbers, colors, shapes)

7. Make a fort or spend some time together in a little tent with stuffed animals pretending

8. Let your child help you with chores

9. Finger games (itsy spider, patty cake, 10 little, round and round, row row boat)

10. Do each other's hair

11. Let your child sit and play on your back while you read or rest

12. Swing together at the park

13. Sit together and watch appropriate youtube shorts and talk about them

14. Play phone talk about your child

15. Look through photo albums

16. Listen with good eye contact and repeat back what your child says

17. Wear matching colors

18. Take pictures of your child and show them


Two other things we have been doing is

1. Since Pineapple has several pretend ouchies a day I ask her often about her happy parts (noes, eyes, knees, etc.) that are currently not hurting and feeling good

2. Workout with Mommy and Me is a video she loves to do with me and it incorporates exercise and bonding moments

Labels: bonding activities with your adopted child

Your adopted child needs quantity time: a stable, secure, warm and loving environment with you always there.

Point to objects and name them. Talk about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

When wanting your child to do something, give clear, simple instructions and then do the task together.

Spend time doing a lot of attachment activities (any ideas here?).

Follow the child’s lead in play. Discover your child’s personality and interests.

Display a lot of family photos with your new child and other photos of your new child around home.

Don’t let your child be alone ever. If your child is very young you might even need to take the child into the bathroom and or shower with you. You might try bathing together.

Don’t let your child be too independent. Your child needs to learn to depend on you. Regress through healthy dependence. Don’t let your child play independently for long periods of time. Even when cooking, let your child play nearby (i.e. taking pans out of the cupboard or helping you). Sit together when eating.

Go to age appropriate parks, restaurants, museums, library, etc.

Keep track of age appropriate developmental progress using development charts. Your child will most likely have some developmental delays, but should soon catch-up.

Child should have a consistent, daily schedule.

Respond immediately to crying

Meet child’s needs immediately (diapers, food, comfort)

Smile, reward good behavior and achievement with hugs, smiles

Try to keep a positive mood

Carry the child a lot, if possible, keep him close

Praise often

Be compassionate about irrational fears. Give child a flash night at night or water pistol if this will help

Make faces, be silly

Massage child’s skin with lotion. Wear the same lotion so you smell alike.

Wear the same color sometimes and point that out

Teach hugs

Practice milestones

Never break promises

Make an activity index card box with attachment and other activities- the child can pick a card

Try baby signing (See book Baby Signs)

Read books with facial expressions that reflect moods and a mirror to practice

Play; sing songs, finger plays, nursery rhymes

Use younger toys and games then their actual age- know the child’s developmental age

Good tooth care: Use fluoridated water, drink milk, toothbrush and paste- teach them

Teach child how to clean himself in the tub (good time to clean the bathroom too)

Take child wherever you go at first

Be consistent with your and your child’s detergent (allergy free), soap, shampoo- don't change smell

Do not let others besides Mom and Dad comfort child at first

Feed her ice cream, other foods (don’t let her feed herself at first)

No propped bottles

Introduce relatives and visitors slowly one at a time

Go slow- don’t hurry your child

Don’t over-schedule- do what she likes to do

About the first six months no babysitters/ never leave unsupervised/ child sits, plays, works and rests near parent

Begin with leaving for a 15-minute period. Leave the child in your home with a responsible person the child knows.

When you do finally leave your child to go out for an evening let the child use your pillow in her bed, wear Mom’s t-shirt to bed, give him a photo of you and tell him that you have one of her that you are carrying in your purse. Be reliable- return when expected. Do not ask child if it is OK for you to go out.

After a few months, branch out into attending playgroups, mommy and me classes, story time at the library

Transition into daycare or preschool after being home a year or two

Important to have family dinners, vacations, special birthdays, family outings (i.e. swimming, camping, boating, shopping, out to eat)

Labels: after adoption: transitioning successfully, bonding activities with your adopted child