So Piney just finished lunch.

She had carrots and soup and milk.

I had brought her down and she was in the kitchen.

She spotted the last remaining banana and grabbed for it.

I said, "Just a minute" and opened it for her.

I saw the top was a little bit smashed, so I cut that part off and threw it away-

then I peeled it partway and gave it to her.

However, she didn't like that on the bottom there was a little bruise on the banana.

So I took it back and cut off the good part of the banana and gave it back to her.

I have to say that I was sort of lamenting giving her the last banana.

I wasn't hungry right then, but bananas go fast in our house and I am lucky to ever get one.

However, she wanted it and all moms give up little things like that for their kids.

It is just the way it is.

Well, she took the top half of the banana that I handed her- which was perfectly ripe (without any bruises)- and promptly threw the whole thing in the trash.

I was so surprised I blurted out, "What are you doing?" as I reached for the banana and quickly applied the 5 sec. rule (if food gets dirty for less then 5 seconds it is still perfectly fine to eat)

I washed the banana and said, "No more bananas for you" and I ate the garbage banana (so as not to waste it.)

This did not seem to faze her, it was the rest of the banana that was the issue. She looked at me holding the other half of the banana fully expecting me to give it her.

However, the natural consequence to throwing a perfectly good banana in the trash is to not let her have more of the banana, so I cut off the bruised part and I ate the other part of the banana.

Piney looked at me incredulously and then holding back tears let out a giant wail while walking into the comfort of M in the other room.

Now I was feeling horrible.

What did I miss?

Did she not just throw the first half of the perfectly good banana in the trash?

Then it occurred to me that there was something about that exchange she did not understand. Perhaps she thought I had wanted her to throw it away for some mysterious reason. Perhaps she was just copying me, because I threw away the mashed part of the banana in the beginning.

I was totally confused. How can I give her natural consequences for her actions if I don't understand her actions. If I can't even interpret her actions as being right or wrong.

Honestly I didn't even want to eat the banana right then. I wasn't even hungry. It might have been nice to have some time later, but....

it wasn't a big deal. I just didn't want her to throw away the entire banana and I felt like she shouldn't be rewarded for ruining food.

These kinds of little problems come up all the time.

Any advice?
-----------------------

Visit my other post here.

Labels: self help for adoptive moms