Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Questions I Am Wondering About
O.K. let's take a little survey for fun.

Let me know what you think- just out of curiosity.

Answer some or all.


1. Do you think women still face discrimination, oppression, etc. in America (in home and work settings)? Have you personally faced this at home or at work? Do you think women bring it on themselves? An example would be your husband/males in your family or boss not valuing what you say, think, believe, or do over their male friend's/employee's opinions and actions.

2. Is Pallin getting more annoying or is it just me? I really like that McCain picked a woman, but she is starting to bug me. I wonder if she is bugging me because she is a woman.

3. Do you let your child help you cook dinner every night?

4. Would you care if your husband bought a brand-new motorcycle for himself (i.e. a Harley and yes this is happening to me)?

5. Does Internet ( facebook, blogs, forums, etc.) make you feel more connected or more alone?

6. Does your husband look at you when you talk to him (or does he respond while reading the Internet, newspaper, a book or something else)?

7. Do you worry about losing your youth or are you ambivalent or do you embrace it?

8. Does your husband play fantasy sports (baseball, football, etc.)? Does he go to movies alone? (Yes- I got this from knocked-up)

9. If you are a SAHM how do you work out the money you can spend without getting permission? Do you get an allowance?

10. If your child says, "Mom... (look at me, answer me, listen to me)" 20 times in 10 minutes do you answer "What honey?" and listen carefully every time? If not, what do you do?
16 Comments:
Blogger Elle said...
I'm guessing you are looking directly for an answer to question #10, but I'll answer them all for killing time purposes.

#1. In some respects yes, but in some cases it is warranted. Discrimination that is. Call me old fashioned, but (and I'll totally get flamed and my house egged for this one) if a woman who works outside of the home and is the #1 person for a daycare/school to call and she has to run off to pick up sick children/stay home from work to take care of sick children why should she make as much money as someone who is, frankly, more reliable. I'm just questioning.

#2. Palin was annoying to start with. She isn't qualified to be Vice-President.

#3. Not dinner. He helps with other things though.

#4. I would kick his ass if he bought a motorcycle. My dad was nearly killed on one when I was a child and I have a deathly fear of them. He knows this.

#5. My blog make me feel like I'm part of a community. Especially since I'm in a minority group of mothers.

#6. Depends on the situation. Often he can hear me and do something at the same time, but it still drives me nuts.

#7. Tough question. I don't want to be old, but at the same time I wouldn't want to be 21 again.

#8. Football and hockey. I hate it.

#9. I mostly manage the budget so I know what can and cannot be spent.

#10. "please leave me alone, I am doing [fill in the blank] at the moment. When I am finished I will give you my undivided attention." and then hope he forgets... he never does.

Blogger Marcie said...
1. Yes, I think descrimination against women is still big today. BUT I think its mostly in the home and I wouldn't call it discrimination I'd call it "a man's expectations." It seems like there is this unspoken rule or expectation of what I should get done or do throughout my day in the home (I.e. clean, take care of kids blah blah blah). I think this is the case if the women works or doesn't work.

2. Pallin is less annoying if you don't watch tv or listen to a lot of talk radio.

3. Child cook dinner? What? No. I can't hardly get my kid to EAT dinner let alone make it!

4. My husband tried to buy a motorcycle when I was out of town on biz. That tells you something RIGHT there. He did not go thru with his purchase thankfully. And yes, it bothered me a lot, but I'd rather he has that then a gun. The motorcycle thing is such a man toy its beyond me.

5. Internet makes me feel more connected and Facebook makes me feel like I'm included. I choose internet over TV ANY day.

6. No. Sadly my husband doesn't always look at me when I'm talking unless I'm RIGHT in front of him. He does listen to me more now that our TV is gone though... but its not fool-proof.

7. I look like I'm 16 yrs old so I worry that one day I'll just AGE overnight. Like it'll catch up with me suddenly. But yes, I do worry that I'm losing my youth in how ambititous I once was and how I was once more carefree.

8. Nope. Thank you Jesus!

9. I'm a working Mom, but I do tell hubby if I am going to buy something big. He gets all pissy when I do, but yet he seems to have permission to buy big stuff w/out consulting me. (hence the motorcycle story) See answer to Question #1 for maybe why this is too.

10. Nope. I ignore him and somehow it works. Although I do remember him getting more and more LOUD when I wouldn't listen. Then I'd usually turn around and say WHAT????? Then he'd say Nevermind. So I guess I'm a not so nice Mama...

1. Somewhat, but I think it is getting better.

2. I thought she was annoying right from the beginning.

3. Not every night. I try to distract them with the tv because it is a lot more work when they "help". But they help out a lot.

4. Yes, but only because we don't have the money and motorcycles are so dangerous.

5. More connected. I get half of my news from blogs or twitter.

6. He usually looks at me.

7. Sometimes.

8. No, but I play fantasy sports. A lot.

I don't think either of us have gone to a ,ovie in three years.

9. I am completely in charge of the money. I feel like managing the money and paying the bills are part of my responsibility as a SAHM. Then again, I handled all of the bills before we had kids too.

10. Oh no. I give them one or two chances with my full attention, then I freak out.

Anonymous Rebecca said...
1. Do you think women still face discrimination, oppression, etc. in America (in home and work settings)? Yes, absolutely.
Have you personally faced this at home or at work? Yes
Do you think women bring it on themselves? An example would be your husband/males in your family or boss not valuing what you say, think, believe, or do over their male friend's/employee's opinions and actions.
I think some women bring this onto themselves but not all of the time. The men in my family can be, I think without realizing it, very dismissive.

2. Is Pallin getting more annoying or is it just me?
I found her very annoying form teh beginning. What Bush doctrine?

3. Do you let your child help you cook dinner every night? NO, LOL. But when my husband cooks on weekends he lets him help.

4. Would you care if your husband bought a brand-new motorcycle for himself (i.e. a Harley and yes this is happening to me)?
Yes, but not because I don't want him to have things he enjoys but because I would worry about the whole falling off of the motorcycle thing.

5. Does Internet ( facebook, blogs, forums, etc.) make you feel more connected or more alone?
Mostly more connected

6. Does your husband look at you when you talk to him (or does he respond while reading the Internet, newspaper, a book or something else)?
It depends on the day. LOL.

7. Do you worry about losing your youth or are you ambivalent or do you embrace it?
I worry about it. I think everyone must worry a little bit

8. Does your husband play fantasy sports (baseball, football, etc.)? Does he go to movies alone? (Yes- I got this from knocked-up)
He plays fantasy football (two leagues) but he doesn't go to the movies alone.

9. If you are a SAHM how do you work out the money you can spend without getting permission? Do you get an allowance?
No, I just speand what I think is apropriate. If I spend too much on something he complains afterwards but I don't have to ask beforehand.

10. If your child says, "Mom... (look at me, answer me, listen to me)" 20 times in 10 minutes do you answer "What honey?" and listen carefully every time? If not, what do you do?
I try to listen as much as possible but I have been known to say ssshhh honey, mommy will speak to you in a minute.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
1. Some women probably do, some don't. I don't see it at work but I do at home some with the way my hubby treats me.
2. I am annoyed by her accent!
3. My kids are only 2 and 5 mon. but when they are old enough I will solicit their help every night, yes. :)
4. Yes, very much so!

5. More connected because I can easily "talk" to long distance friends.
6. Only if he is not distracted by the TV. If he is watching tv it is hard to even get him to acknowledge my question let alone look at me.

7. Not sure yet...
8. Nope

9. Not a Sahm
10. Don't have to deal with this yet.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
1. each generation of man has educated the brand new wife on what her role is (housecleanning, cooking, child care, etc etc etc). The 1950's man saw all of his requirements met with enthusiasm from the first day. The 1970's man saw gradual improvement every day until he saw all of his requirements were met. The 2000's man may be able to see as soon as the swelling goes down.

2. If you haven't seen the Tina Fey impression on SNL I encourage you to look it up on YouTube. Hillarious!

3. Starting to let help with meal prep. tip: beginners breaking eggs should always do so in a separate container and never into the mix. It's much easier to fish out the shells that way.

4. All items of purchase over $500 must be agreed to in our home. I would be willing to consider depending on reasoning and desire (ie; gas money commuting and childhood dream)

5. More connected.

6. Mostly yes, I am probably the guilty one here.

7. Don't worry as much as wish my body would still cooperate with what I want to do.

8. He plays actual sports and fantasy sports but that is about all he does on his own so its good for us both.

9. Not a SAHM at this time. We have 2 checking accounts and try to allocate bills so that we both have the same amount of spending money left over each month

10. I prefer specific slots of 'undivided attention' time so I don't miss something while distracted or annoyed. This works better and better as they age...

loveland

Blogger Rachael said...
Are you going to share your answers too???

1. For the most part NO.
2. It's not just you. This coming from someone who usually votes Republican. I hope it's not just 'cause she's a woman though, cause that would make #1 true.
3. No. Sometimes. But not usually.
4. Yes.
5. More connected. Usually. I hate talking on the phone. Email is so much easier. Sad, but true.
6. Yes. Usually.
7. YES. I hate getting older!
8. No and No.
9. N/A
10. I am the world's best tuner-outer. Drives my kids and my husband nuts. After awhile, my husband will intercede, "Rach! Just answer him and make it all stop!" and, I'll be all "Huh?"

Blogger Jenni said...
1. Yes - I faced this a lot when I worked at Stanford, which has a very big "old white men" network. As a teacher, I don't face it as much, probably because that is considered a "woman's profession."

2. Palin was always annoying to me, but the more she talks, the more I want to smack McCain for picking her.

3. No. My husband cooks, and sometimes he lets the kids help.

4. Hell yes!

5. More connected - I've found long lost friends through Facebook and Vika was reunited with a friend from the orphanage as a result of our blog.

6. Sometimes. He usually has several things going on at once. But if it is really important, he looks at me.

7. I've been worrying about losing my youth since I was 18!

8. No! Thank God.

9. I'm not a SAHM anymore, but when I was, I just bought what I needed and the husband didn't ask me about it.

10. No. I need to be better about this.

I would love to hear the results and reasons behind your survey!

Blogger jeneflower said...
Some people were asking for more info on the questions so here it goes.
1. I am taking a womens studies class this semester and was wondering if the things I was learning about was the experience of real women right now, or if it was a thing of the past.

2. This is the thing about Pallin. She is bugging me. Am I more critical of her because she is a women? I don't want to be. I want to be supportive of women in politics. I am hoping that it is just that she is genuinely annoying and not that I am not being overly critical.

3. Piney wants to "help" me make dinner EVERY night. It makes it harder for me. I tell her she needs to stay out of the kitchen and she has a melt down about it daily. I was wondering if I was being a mean mom.

4. My husband is going to buy a Harley without my consent or approval. I was wondering if you all would care if your husband did that too. Apparently it is only me who needs his consent to purchase expensive items.

5. Sometimes the Internet makes me feel more alone and sometimes more connected. I heard that professional surveys found it made people feel more alone- so I was just taking my own little survey on that.

6.My husband has been trying to make more of an effort to look at me when I talk to him during the week, but I can tell it is a struggle. However, we go out on a date once a month and I get his undivided attention at that time.

7. I don't know how to view myself in terms of age. I am really confused about it.

8. Yes my husband plays fantasy football- but he is not really involved in it. Why that is fun is beyond my comprehension. He also goes to movies alone sometimes. I am glad he does things he likes to do.

9. We have been discussing the "allowance" thing and I kind of think it is a good idea, but I wasn't sure about it- so I was seeing what you guys do.

10. If your child says, "Mom... (look at me, answer me, listen to me)" 20 times in 10 minutes do you answer "What honey?" and listen carefully every time? If not, what do you do?

I just needed some advice here. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone in my responses!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
1.not as much as it use to be

2.I could never stand her to begin with. How can she be a good mother of all them kids and be V.P. and take care of both 100 %

3. not every night

4. no not at all he works hard for a living and has many of times bought huge gifts for himselve.

5.neither

6. yes, he looks at me most of the time

7.not worried about it

8.no he uses computer for work so when he gets home he is so tired of looking at the thing

9.He keeps some out of every paycheck and the rest goes to the bank and I do all the bills so if I need something I don't need to ask but I am a saver and not a spender so I am careful. He trusts me and does not care what I spend knowing that I am careful with money.

10.My son who is now 11 has not ever done this so I don't know what I would do.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
1. I'm a sahm and I don't see it in my everyday life.

2. I don't think Palin is annoying because of being a woman, it has more to do with personality.

3. My kids don't help with dinner, yet I just got this book: The River Cottage Family Book. I'm hoping to get the kids help more in the kitchen. Soulemama blogs about it here: http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2008/09/river-cottage-f.html

4. My husband doesn't like motorcycles. So he wouldn't do that.. um. I can't see him getting anything that is more than a couple hundred dollars without thinking about it for a long time, so I'm no help there. (It takes us forever get a new car. just his personality.)

5. I feel connected at time, and others not. It depends if I'm always home and don't try to have social interacts.

6. sometimes he doesn't look because he is trying to decompress from being at work all day, other times we talk over dinner, guess it depends when.

7. I want to sound older at time Sometimes when a stranger is calling they want to talk with someone over 18 years old, i'm 35. so that gets frustrating. Yet I also want to grow old gracefully. It's kind of scary.

8. My husband doesn't like sports, and doesn't go to the movies. He does like music. I have my own hobbies, so it doesn't bother me. I figure we all need our own time to ourselves so we are happier.

9. I have a budget for the kids clothes, gas, food, allowances for the kids, and extras. I've started to have an allowance for me in there, so that I can decide if I want to spend money on books, yarn, craft ideas, or something bigger over time. I figured that way I won't feel guilty about it later.

10. My kids are older and out of this phase. Yet I remember when my youngest was a baby saying my hands are busy, when the older one needed me. I think I'd say something similar.

Isabella

Blogger christinemm said...
1. I think women are treated differently than men and also that regardless of how the women are the other person has different expectations of themselves. Also women bosses put more pressure on women employees and are tough on them which I completely cannot understand.

For example when I worked in the medical dept of an HMO we had a plan to get our members prenatal care and make sure their pregnancies were monitored and they were hopefully in good health for the pregnancy. But the women bosses harassed the pregnant women workers (who had that insurance plan by the way) and tried to prevent them from using lunch hours to run to prenatal appointments. Three quarters of the women had work shifts were too early and too late to get to the OB/GYN before or after work. Some of the employees actually chose doctors based on it being close to work. They then had to eat their lunch at their desk when they got back and did this while customers were on hold and in between times. Yet they put out a memo and pitched fits in staff meetings banning all food from being eaten at the desks. This was aimed directly at the pregnant women. Also some women were switching shifts for the late shift so they could do a first appointment of the day with the doctor and still get to work on time but then the managers had a fit over switching shifts and made them submit in writing the permission to get from the manager.

I also think women tend to be really power hungry, that is from my own experience in the workplace.

I also read an article about a study about women and anger and sternness in the workplace. The bottom line was people expect men to be tough and firm and to act angry but when a woman acted the same way she was criticized. Also the study addressed salaries and claimed that executives who were women ‘acting like men’ earned less than the men ‘acting like men’. Very interesting and disturbing at the same time. Made me happy I’m not climbing the corporate ladder right now.

It is very real, the perceptions about gender roles and the negative ramifications if women ‘act like men’ even though it is thought that to do certain actions is required of the job or for success. Crazy if you ask me.

2. Is Palin getting more annoying or is it just me? I really like that McCain picked a woman, but she is starting to bug me. I wonder if she is bugging me because she is a woman.

I have a feeling you are doing that psychological thing that the study said. You expect a woman to act a certain way and when she acts too ‘masculine’ it bothers you. Men would not be criticized for the same things as she is being criticized for.

Also men are not as hard on each other to judge them. Men also generally don’t hold grudges for long, they let even problems go easily and don’t focus on wrongs of the past. Women do that to other women and to men also.

3. Do you let your child help you cook dinner every night?

No we used to when they were smaller but now that they are 8 and 11 they have no desire. I would push this if I were making dinner to teach my kids a life skill however my husband makes dinner every night now (he loves to) and he does not work well with the kids in the kitchen especially when he is hungry and wants to get the work done quickly, and so I accept it. I am grateful he is making the dinner and cleaning it up!

4. Would you care if your husband bought a brand-new motorcycle for himself (i.e. a Harley and yes this is happening to me)?

Yes I would as an expensive Harley is not in our budget and other things are more necessary for us and those necessary things have to wait. Also my husband feels motorcycles are not safe and riding them would put his life in jeopardy and that he has to restrict pleasure seeking things that are dangerous as he has a family to take care of. I on the other hand still want to skydive some day…

Regarding the motorcycles we both realize often it is not the motorcycle drivers error but accidents from the other drivers on the road. A father/preacher of young kids in my area was killed a couple of years ago, I knew the family and to think the woman, a stay at home mom is a widow now and her kids are fatherless is horrible, especially since they lived in the parish house and on a very small income due to his line of work. Now I wonder how she will make a living.

5. Does Internet ( facebook, blogs, forums, etc.) make you feel more connected or more alone?

I feel more connected on one level as feeling not alone. However on another level I miss more time on friendships in face to face and phone conversations. My friends are all so busy with work and/or their kids and/or their hobbies and/or their spouses and/or their extended family. I am busy too don’t get me wrong but I am at a place where I am carving out time for certain things and friendship is on the list. I feel ‘not a full connection’ with the people I connect with online. Lastly, I have blogged this in depth in the past, some of my friends are not reaching out to talk to me as they check my blog and say they feel ‘all up to date with me’. Talk about one-sided relationships, and they are not hearing the stuff that I don’t publish.

6. Does your husband look at you when you talk to him (or does he respond while reading the Internet, newspaper, a book or something else)?

When we are sitting together and eating or not doing some other task he does look at me. Other times when I start a conversation when he is on the computer he doesn’t always look at me.

What bugs me is that when we are with a group of people and he talks he looks at all of them but ignores me. However I find myself doing the same thing. Hmmm.

7. Do you worry about losing your youth or are you ambivalent or do you embrace it?

I am more worried about my body breaking down and either having pain doing ‘normal tasks’ i.e. arthritis or my abilities being hindered by my body not being able to do that thing any longer.

I am a bit worried about the changes with menopause such as becoming more masculine, growing facial hair and the other physical changes that happen then than aging in general, wrinkles etc.

8. Does your husband play fantasy sports (baseball, football, etc.)? Does he go to movies alone? (Yes- I got this from knocked-up)

No he does not play fantasy sports because he is way too busy with real life to engage in games like that. Actually he puts time to following current events and politics. Some of that is necessary for his career.

No he does not go to movies alone. I can barely get him to go to any movie as he thinks 99% of what Hollywood puts out is pure trash and wants to punish them by not helping them make money off of our ticket sales.

9. If you are a SAHM how do you work out the money you can spend without getting permission? Do you get an allowance?

I just spend what needs to be spent and what I want to spend. There is no debate on educational materials for homeschooling or children’s clothing and gasoline and groceries. We have general discussions about the need to not spend much the following month as the property taxes or due or stuff like that.

I do not get an allowance. In the beginning that was kind of the set up with my checking account but it doesn't work out. I get money into my checking account by direct deposit from his paycheck, but that money often goes to paying for family expenses or stuff for the kids which has nothing to do with just me spending money for fun if you know what I mean.

My credit card also gets used for family stuff like life insurance premiums, new car tires, groceries and kids clothes so that cannot even be considered my ‘discretionary spending’ money.

10. If your child says, "Mom... (look at me, answer me, listen to me)" 20 times in 10 minutes do you answer "What honey?" and listen carefully every time? If not, what do you do?

My kids don’t say that often let alone 20 times. I have to sometimes force myself to stop the work I am doing on my computer to turn and look at them when I talk. I keep remembering the thing that (I am pretty sure it was) Maya Angelou said to Oprah about a child labels their self worth by how you look when they enter the room and that every child wants to see the parent looking at them, noticing them and their eyes lighting up when they are seen. To ignore a child that enters a room is crushing for a child. Well that killed me to hear as I am not THAT good.

Now that I stated that ideal I’ll say that I have put boundaries on my time on the computer (especially since I homeschool and the kids are with me a lot) such as saying “I am going to be on my computer for an hour doing work about your homeschooling and Scouts and I need to be left alone.” So they are not offended when I am just sitting at the computer.

I also sometimes ask them to please wait ten minutes until I am done then I will be off the computer and can pay full attention to them.

My eight year old did tell me he feels I spend too much time on the computer and I explained that I am doing a lot of things many of which are work regarding parenting and homeschooling HIM but he just does not realize it. Kids look at things differently. That day I was setting up a playdate via email with a kid which is something that he was begging for. So when he complained I told him what I was doing and that now that he knew that he didn't have a real basis to be angry with me and he agreed.

Blogger Andrea said...
I'm not able to answer some of these because I am single and childless, at the moment, but the questions fascinated me so I do want to answer as many as I can, while being frank about where I am simply saying how I think I would respond, in such a situation.

1. Women absolutely do face discrimination, although our ancestors would likely think us fortunate to no longer be clapped in prison and force fed through tubes for simply seeking the right to vote. Nevertheless we DO face discrimination, we just face a much different kind of discrimination than we used to; for example, I find some groups of women very pitted against one another, as if we feel the need to defend our choices against the scrutiny of outsiders. There are also patronising attitudes aimed at women both in the workforce and at home; although I hope and trust these are not as plentiful as they once were, I have spoken to enough female friends scattered around the globe to have discovered that there are many condescending attitudes towards women alive and well in this day and age, simply subtler ones than there once were.

2. I am not a fan of either McCain or Palin and I always found them somewhat irksome, but then I find some of Obama's supporters irksome too, although when he speaks I am generally not irritated by Obama himself; actually I find blind devotion to any candidate, devotion that lacks in balanced and candid acknowledgment of that candidate's shortcomings, far more irritating than anything the candidates themselves could ever say or do.

But then, I am Canadian, and should probably concentrate on my own upcoming election rather than fussing about yours :P

3. Childless! But I think if it were something simple, like adding an already-measured ingredient to the supper, I would encourage my child to help; otherwise I might give him or her a small bowl and spoon, a few plastic measuring cups and maybe a bit of water, and encourage stirring practice at the kitchen table while I worked (I have done this with many friends' children in the past, and it seems to work).

4. If we were on an income that didn't allow for extravagent expenditures, yes, I would care a lot and would probably insist on a sit-down, serious discussion about irresponsible that was. I would not be very patient with any "it's my money, I earned it" arguments, either, since that argument is defeated by the very nature of marriage; if he didn't want the choices he makes to deeply and directly affect anybody else, he should have stayed single.

However, if we were making enough money that a bike was not deemed an extravagance and we had an agreement between us that neither of us needed to consult one another on indulgent purchases, then no, I probably wouldn't care. But even if we were millionaires and bought a new vehicle each year, he still wouldn't be taking our children on the back of that bike!

5. I don't use facebook but blogs let me find out all sorts of different things about people who live in places I have never been and may never visit; instant messaging lets me keep up with friends with whom I otherwise would probably have lost touch soon after high school. With most family, though, I just use the phone.

6. No husband! I live with my sister, though, and if it's just a one- or two-line discussion we don't usually look up, but if we actually have a chat then we put aside what we're doing and make eye contact. Of course, my sister is not a man, so . . .

7. I worry about losing my youth without exchanging it for some sort of lasting contribution. I am still quite young but I am already convinced that if I am going to grow older, I want the chance to make some sort of ... addition to the world. Whether it's by teaching, raising a family, writing some novels . . . I want my passing years to be spent on something that will outlast me. Not necessarily something that will outlive me in a flashy way, or even in a way that more than a handful of people would ever remember, but I do like the idea of leaving something behind that wouldn't have been there without my input.

8. No husband, no clue what fantasy sports even are. Maybe if I get one he will play them and explain it to me.

9. Since I'm not partnered with anybody I don't have to consult with anyone on how I spend my income, but if it comes to making grocery decisions, changes in the furniture, etc. I usually run it by my sister, and sometimes our housemate as well. I don't consider it asking permission as much as I do considering the fact that my choices will have an impact on them.

10. This happens to me with my housemate's daughter and with the children of many friends! I am primary caregiver for somebody's child at least a couple times a week, so it happens an awful lot, actually. If I am not very engaged in what I'm doing, or if it's something that can be put aside for a minute like the dishes or a book, then I make an effort to stop and listen. But if I'm working on something important (an article with a deadline on it, for example) I will say, very firmly, that I am busy, and that I will answer in a minute. If the interruption is repeated I make it clear that the third one will result in the child having to leave the room, and I do follow through on that.

Anyway, on the way out of the house now but I wanted to thank you for these! Even if they didn't all apply to me they were still fun to think about (oh and I am not sure if Palin annoys you because she's a woman or not, because she irks me for different reasons, but I do know she upsets SOME people because she is a woman. So . . . I cannot say what the case is for you!)

Blogger Liv said...
I'm going to commment because these are really good questions and I happen to baby-free at the moment.

1. Yes, women still face discrimination. I think to some level we let it by not being more assertive. The other large part is ignorance on the offender's side. I also believe that other women can discriminate against women. For example, a friend asked me once why E wasn't driving when we went somewhere. She thought he wasn't feeling well. I told her, "It's my vehicle and I want to drive." I think that women can avoid being discriminated against by body language, intelligence, and kindness. For example, walking tall, knowing what size tire you need for your car, and smiling at the tech.

2. Palin is annoying. Like you, I like that there is still a woman in the race, but I really think that McCain didn't chose from... well, the cream of the crop. I wasn't planning on voting Rep. anyway, but I think she definitely seals the deal.

3. No, because I am too controlling and I enjoy that time to myself. And by the time I am making dinner I am so burnt out from homework I don't want to deal with her. And she's afraid of the stove. BUT I do sometimes let Dani help to make a cake or brownies. She loves it when we have put all the ingredients in the bowl and I 'forget' the mix.

4. Yes, I would care, and he better not without much discussion. This solidifies my respnse to no. 1. Now, just because I would care, doesn't mean I would fight over the decision. If it happened to work best for our family, I may be persuaded.

5. They make me feel more connected. I think because I can be in touch with lots of people at once. In person, I have too much anxiety to hang out with more than 10 people at a time.

6. He always looks at me. I fear I am guilty of doing something while he is talking to me. But we generally have very good eye contact.

7. Part of me feels I'm too young to worry about it. But I can already tell a difference between my 20-something self, and my 30-something self. I hope that I embrace age instead of being one of those women who never shows facial expressions at the risk of creating a wrinkle.

8. No, and no. He doesn't even watch sports. And we see movies so rarely that it is a family outing.

9. I scoff at permission. I don't contribute financially, but I work my tail off making sure that we have food in the house, fun things to do, a clean place to live, gas in the cars, and clean clothes. I spend what I want where I want. BUT I am very financially responsible and I rarely do something just for me. I also manage our budget and pay the bills. E and I have monthly discussions about our finances, any snafus that occurred and any impending costs that are on the rise. You have to communicate with your partner about your money. Again, this goes back to no. 1. If you want things, you have to work it out. If you don't it leads to resentment or you sneaking the money away and getting your finances in trouble. When I start working I don't plan on changing things. The bulk of our money will still go to paying bills and the mortgage. We will just have more fun.

10. I ask her to please wait. Give me a minute. Not right now. Go ask your Dad. Leave me alone. Do it yourself. Wipe your own butt.

Now, if it's important, I will answer her.

Blogger clynAZ said...
Your questions number 1,4,& 9 all relate to the importance of communicating about how you want to manage your money as a couple. Money is the number one source of conflict for most relationships. After reading your post I decided to write a post Let's Talk About Money giving some thought provoking questions for couples to discuss and think about to help them create a "business plan" for how they want to manage their money. (Thanks for the blog inspiration.)

Read the post then have a chat with M - but not when he's on the computer, watching TV, reading, or playing fantasy sports. ;)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
No, I don't think she is annoying and I don't notice people picking apart Obama's hemming and hawing or Biden's constant gaffs. So I do think you are singling her out because she is the only female. She is also the only candidate who has any executive experience. She has more experience than Obama. By far. but she isn't running for pres, he is.

They have sent droves of reporters and lawyers up to Alaska to find something, anything to smear her or her family with.

This article sums it up for me: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/09/the_gibson_doctrine.html

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