Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Staring At My Belly Button
So summer is coming to an end

and I Love Fall

but I have been in a mood lately.

You know the "nobody likes me, everybody hates me" mood

Ya. Very mature of me I know.

Wasn't that a phase that was supposed to end in the 4th grade?

But seriously.

Sometimes Moms have it hard because

The world can easily start to revolve around the children and often the husband's work.

Moms tend to become invisible- fade into the background.

Their life value becomes what services they provide for others.

And support systems are often lacking.

Some may view this as reaching sacrificial sainthood

but frankly, I think it is the oppressive forces of society

So I have decided to get a life.

I am starting my own business.

There. Now that I said it I have to do it.

Outdoor, creative photography.

That's my plan. I am working on getting it organized.

The other thing I need is my personality back.

Really. I think I lost mine.

It got tossed to the way side with all of my hobbies, interests and sense of humor.

This is important because I also need some friends.

I mean I have some friends, but why can't we have friends the way we did when we were younger?

Why does it have to be such a struggle to get together with other women friends?

There is always a conflict. People are busy, or distracted or preoccupied.

And I understand. Often Moms just want time alone.

And it is WAY too much to ask for time alone and time with friends.

But really it's not.

I also need to get out more. Do more fun things.

On Friday M and I are going to see Disney Live!

O.K. I realize that it's a kid's show and we are bringing Piney (so it's not a date), but we won free tickets to it and it is getting us out of the house.

I also need to read more novels.

Something that is passionate, and intense and hard to put down.

Any suggestions?

Well that's whats going on with me.

Does it sound like a self-centered midlife crisis? My birthday month is coming dangerously close.
8 Comments:
Blogger Maggie said...
I think we all need things that are just for us. I've felt this same slipping-away of personality since I've been working from home. I desperately miss my co-workers and the daily interaction with them. I've started emailing them more and going into the office periodically. I just need that.

I think a photography business is a great idea. You're very skilled at it. In fact, for quite a while I had a blown-up print out of one of your pictures on my desk. (A close-up of a gate or fence in Russia. It was beautiful.)

And books. Hmm. I just read Water for Elephants and loved it. I'm currently reading The Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri and so far, so good.

Blogger Maggie said...
Oops. Correction. It's just called "Interpreter of Maladies" -- no The.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Good for you, Jen--starting a business. I love your style of photography. I have thought about starting a business myself, but now is not the right time.
I belong to a book club and here are some of the books I have read lately: Leap of Faith: Memoirs of an Unexpected Life (by: Queen Noor). Also, Eat Pray Love (I don't remember the author) , Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, and 3 Cups of Tea. Some books that I have on my "to do" list are The Road by Cormac McCarthy, Into the Wild by John Krakauer, and Audacity of Hope by Obama. Have you read any of these?
--Sandra F.

Blogger Rachael said...
I know what you're saying. I go through phases like yours too, and I have a job. But, I do think the photography business is a great idea that seems well suited to you.

Good books: hmmm. The amount of time I had to think about before I could recall the last really good book I read was sad. :) But, here's one I read awhile ago, after discovering it on the shelf at the library, that I really enjoyed, and since it's about military wives and their lifelong friendship, thought you might enjoy it too: The Future Homemakers of America by Laurie Graham. Another long-time fave of mine is: I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb.

Blogger Laurie said...
Read The Other Bolelyn Girl. Could not put it down!

Blogger Debbie B said...
Good luck with the photography business.

I know what you mean about just needing you time but also friend time. I have a very hard time getting together with friends.

I just read Twilight. It was hard to put down but a bit too intense for me. The 4th book just came out and the movie Twilight comes out this fall.

Other book I've heard great reviews on but have not read yet is The Shack.

Blogger kim said...
I am with you on the entire loss of personality and the importance of true girlfriends! You will be great with the photography... you definitely have a gift. I wish you the best.

My all time favorite reads...
"Sisters of the Quilt" series by Cindy Woodsmall... "When the Heart Cries" and "When the Morning Comes."

Some of my recent great reads in my book club...
1. Escape by Carolyn Jessop (not an "easy" read, but important.)
2. The Murder Game by Beverly Barton (suspense)
3. The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs (fiction)
4. The Choice by Nicholas Sparks

I have some of these and would be glad to send them to you. My email address is kim_dougatgrandecom.net

ps... I also think it is easy to lose your identity as a "doctor's wife". We moved out of the town where my husband works and it has been a blessing. Before I was always just doctor so-and-so's wife... I am immensely proud of him, but I also have an identity.

Can we be friends?
Circle yes or no

Don't you wish it was still that easy!

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