I know this post doesn't change the world, but adopting and raising an adopted child is a great thing that can help change the world (what if everybody did it!).
And if you are considering it or have done it, it is truly a labor of love.
Rewarding as it is; however, it doesn't make it easy.
But that is the case with raising all children.
A typical day with Piney starts out with her waking me up.
"Wake up! Wake up! The sun is awake!" she says.
No sleeping in possible. She will literally pull me off the bed if I try to pretend she is a dream.
She usually likes to get dressed right away.
Then she wants to be fed.
"Come on mama! EAT! EAT! EAT!"
She pulls my arm into the kitchen.
I offer her some food.
She says, "NO!" and opens the fridge, "I want that!"
I respond with, "No. You do not open the fridge. I prepare the breakfast. We are having this other thing today. It is what I am serving."
"NO! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT IT!"
I try to give it to her. She refuses to eat it or take it.
I give in because I don't want to have to feed her breakfast again later.
I then call the boys in and serve them the original breakfast.
Since she sees the boys eating the original breakfast she refuses to eat her "special" food from the fridge and wants what they are having.
She throws her "special" food in the sink or in the trash.
When she has finished the food, she wants to eat her "special" food again. Then she wants seconds and thirds and something new.
If I say "no she has had enough" she starts crying. "I hungry mama! I hungry!" - Even though she has just eaten twice as much as everyone else in the family.
This happens in reverse at dinner when she refuses to eat everything we give her (unless it's ice cream).
Often she will say she wants to go somewhere, but when we arrive she doesn't want to go there now.
She asks me to do things all day for her, but when I do she has to do it by herself.
She never lets me bake or cook alone. She always pulls up a chair and insists on taking over.
She tells me what to do and if I do it as directed she says, "Great Job! Give me a hug!" or "Give me a kiss!"
Just like an adult.
She likes to completely take over and be totally in charge. Everything has to be done to her specifications.
It is like having a very demanding boss.
However, I am stubborn and I don't do most of what she asks when she is acting bossy, and when I don't she usually backs down only to try a new approach a few minutes later.
She is a take charge girl. She is smart and she wants things done right, or at least her way.
She has to have the right cup. The right plate. If she wants a whole cookie she will not accept half of it.
The whole cookie or no cookie.
When she sets the table it has to be just so. She thinks about it. She counts the plates.
When she can't do something she has to know why.
If M and I have gone out and we return she runs to us with a big hug. Every time.
If I put lotion on my hands she needs lotion. If I blow dry my hair she needs to do it too. If I put make up on she needs to wear it. If I am using the bathroom, she has to use it. Sometimes she simply follows me around the house.
She loves school and has never had a discipline problem.
She admires herself for long periods of time in front of the mirror. Especially if I just did her hair or put a dress on her.
She is vigilant about wanting to brush her teeth and wash her hands. She picks trash up off the ground. She wants to clean everything. "I want to mop mama! PLEASE! I NEED to mop!"
She also likes to take care of people. She has a lot of imaginary hurts, but she also notices every little bump or scratch I get. She makes a big deal out of it and wants to take care of me. She doesn't like it when I say it is no big deal.
I recently found my Ipod that she took to a secret hiding place in the bottom of the sleeping bag closet. It had been missing for a month.
I find all sorts of strange things in her room.
She is assertive, strong-willed, extroverted and opinionated. Oh and she likes to talk non-stop. Now that she is getting speech services we are starting to understand the talk. I am trying to figure out which was worse.
Since our family is really pretty quiet and introverted she dominates all of us in that area.
At night she has to read me the stories. She usually allows me to read her one book and then she has to read all of the rest.
If I try to kiss her goodnight she says, "No mama! You don't kiss me! I kiss you!"
I stay still for her kiss because I know- It's her way or the highway.
I was thinking about getting this shirt
What do you think?
Does your preschooler act the same way?
Labels: after adoption: difficult child behaviors, Russian Pineapple Princess: our adopted daughter