Be patient with tantrums. Don’t get upset yourself. Do not yell at your child to stop screaming. (Easier said then done, I know) Rock, pat, feed, soothe as best as you can, give medicine as needed if sick .

Rage and rejection can be common. Some of these children are still grieving the loss of their birth mom or orphanage caregivers. Support them in this grief and anger by being understanding and sympathetic.

Never spank an adopted child as they can connect this with possible earlier child abuse.

Try to always use a soothing voice. It matters more how you sound than what you say.

Instead of time outs, better to have time ins- where the child is removed from the situation and place on a chair or into another room while you remain with the child. Don’t leave the child alone.

Assess: is your child hungry, tired, needs a diaper change, over stimulated, jealous? Figure out what is the underlining problem and attend to it.

Expect your child to try to be in control of all situations (what he or she will eat, how, where, when to sleep, what to play with, using the “right” utensil, etc.). Accommodate these things at first. As attachment progresses let the child relinquish more control to you. Sometimes tell the child whatever he or she is doing is exactly what you wanted the child to do as a transition to obedience and relinquishing control.Never ask child's permission to do something yourself (Not- is that or this OK? Only change it if severe reaction) Act like you are in charge. Don’t give a lot of choices (either you pick or let the child choose between two options).

As children get older punishments for disobeying could include: jumping jacks, push-ups, run up and down the stairs, jump rope (get out their energy and get back in control).

Attachment Activities

Labels: after adoption: difficult child behaviors, after adoption: transitioning successfully