Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Adoption Referral: Waited Officially Five Months
The latest news from my agency was: “We expect to match all our dossier-ready families over the next couple of months” so that sounds promising. By tomorrow we will have waited officially 5 months. I am hoping that we will receive a referral sometime in the next few weeks. I really feel ready for the first trip. I do not feel quite ready for the second trip and for bringing her home. I still don’t completely understand what I need to do to prepare for that- especially all of the post adoption stuff I need to do (i.e. testing with her pediatrician, re-adoption, social security number, attachment stuff, toddler needs, post placements etc.) I am working on getting a better hold on everything I need to know. I am glad that I will have some time in-between trips to get this sorted out. I am anxious about meeting our daughter for the first time. I just don’t know how I will feel or she will feel. I want to feel a connection, but I know it might take some time.

Every time I think of the moment I will meet her or the moment we can take her out of the court room as officially ours I get butterflies in my stomach. Of course I don’t know what she looks like so I imagine her- and she looks different every time. Sometimes I dream about how she looks. Again, always different.

My biggest fear is the lack of sleep I know that is going to come. Right now I can just fall asleep and take a nap whenever I feel tired. I can sleep all the way through the night and no one wakes me up (for the most part). I know that this luxury will end with a new toddler in the house. I think it is so hard to be tired and sleepy and not be able to sleep. It isn’t that you just aren’t able to sleep- it’s that you have to be tired and then cope with life and all that is going on around you and at the same time try to stay cheerful. I know there will be some tough adjustments at first. It is hard to mentally prepare for this, but I believe over time the rough edges will smooth out and she will be able to integrate in to our family. I am very excited for this new personality to come in to our home!

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Blogger 6blessings said...
Jen, sleep issues is one of my fears too. I have spent many sleepless nights up with kids, as I'm sure you have too. However, for the most part, those are over. I get an occasional bad dream or scared issue, maybe a sickness, but nothing much. I can also grab a few minutes of a nap if I need it.

However, if we've made it through the tired and gripy stage once, we can make it through again! Right? :-)

Blogger Carrie said...
I can't imagine being so close to seeing the face of my new daughter. I hope that referral comes soon!

Blogger Tricia said...
I think you are next in line within our group, right? It's so exciting to think that your life could change tomorrow... and it will (one of these tomorrows soon).

Blogger Debbie said...
Wow 5 months. I hope it happens real soon.

Blogger Margaret said...
Your time is coming soon, Jen. Just a little more to go.

Anonymous Betsy said...
You'll know what to do for your girl once you get her home. You survived all the sleeplessness before and you can do it again. It's only temporary anyway, right? RIGHT?! Anyone who's read your blog would have no doubt that you are and will be a great mom! The paperwork and other stuff is secondary and your agency should help with that.

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