Maybe we can all write to Oprah and so she would invite us to do a Russian Adoption Blogger show. Let’s see what could the show be about? “The Oprah Fan Club for Russian Adoption Bloggers” Or maybe “Russian Adoption Bloggy Book Club Suggestions” or “Russian Adoption Assvice”.
What they really need to do is a show entitled "What to do about all of the Adoption Worries and What Ifs". I usually feel really optimistic and good about the adoption. I have all of these excited feelings about shopping for girl stuff together and having girl talk and seeing the kids play with her and just having this great feeling that our family is complete, but other times I start thinking about all of the what ifs
Which include worries like…
What if we don’t bond/attach like we should?
What if I don't feel the instant "love" I am expecting to feel?
What if I start to feel chronic anxiety due to insecurities or inadequacies to care for her specific needs?
What if people ask insensitive questions about the adoption or in front of my child?
What if I have unresolved feelings about the birth mother or worry how to discuss this with my child?
What if the costs turn out to be way more than expected and put us into a money crisis?
What if I can’t handle the additional responsibility?
What if she doesn’t get along with her new siblings?
What if she keeps us up all night?
What if she never wants to leave my side for months?
What if she doesn’t ever like us?
What if she has serious medical, neurological and/or emotional problems we didn’t catch at first and now feel we can’t handle?
What if our whole lives are altered and turned upside down?
What if we don’t understand the child’s behavior and how to respond to it?
What if I have all these expectations of what I want in a girl and she turns out to be a tomboy or have a personality opposite to what I expected?
What if I feel the child is just totally different from me and I can’t relate at all?
What if all of my dreams of what it is going to be like are unrealized or totally different?
What if I am just not capable of effectively parenting an adopted, or post-institutionalized child?
What if our lives are totally disrupted and we aren't able to do the things we used to enjoy doing?
What if her medical or other issues turn into a long-term monetary commitment that we can't handle?
What if I can't emotionally handle her behavior or specific issues?
What if I become totally overwhelmed?
What if my child grows up resenting that I am not her birth mom?
What if she someday wants to find her birth parents?
What if she rejects me as a parent someday?
What if she develops depressive feelings about being adopted and I don't know what to say or do?
What if she never feels totally like a true member of our family?
Any other worriers out there? OR is it just me?
Labels: international adoption: worries