I realize that I have very “creative” punctuation and my grammar is not always perfect. I know most of you are very forgiving about this, but there might be some anal retentive punctuation Nazis out there that are cringing at all of my posts. This is my explanation: I like to write how I talk. Correct punctuation does not allow this. It is much more formal. If I wrote that way I would fear my posts would sound similar to my recent research paper on stem cell research. It is very boring- unless, of course you like controversial subjects.

I actually like some controversial subjects. The truth of the matter is that I get this really strong sinking feeling when I debate controversial issues because I know I am not changing the world. Not only does nobody really care about my lowly opinion, but nobody is going to do anything about it. I have these types of worthless conversations all of the time. I know it is important to vote for people who share your views and to write to your congressman or to certain people, companies or organizations where your voice might be heard, but does arguing about it with someone really do anything?

I totally understand if it is an issue that is affecting you personally and you are frustrated because you can’t do anything about it and you are venting. Then the venting is doing something- helping you to feel better, but if you don’t feel like you need to get it off of your shoulders, then why argue it out?

O.K. Maybe it is just fun to debate issues. This can be true. That is probably why people do it. I can also see that by bringing up these types of issues you can see who thinks like you and than you know you have those things in common. Perhaps that is why the “discussions” on the adoption boards never cease. Still, the arguing can get so out of hand. I am not sure why people get so worked up. Back and forth bashing and flaming over something really trivial, like baby shower etiquette or homeschooling vs. public schools, etc. Most of the time the arguments are simply a difference of opinion and no one is really "right" or "wrong" - just different. For example- someone might feel "right" because they went to the trouble of bringing a car seat for their child in Russia and on the plane, while others argue that it is unnecessary and unwelcome. Nobody is necessarily right or wrong here.

I have tried to take everyones advice about the adoption boards. I unsubscribed to one of my adoption yahoo groups yesterday. I now only belong to two other groups. I just skim through them now and I rarely post anything. This keeps me feeling much better. I can’t seem to completely abandon them though because periodically I get these really good nuggets of great information. I know it is an illness (like being a pack rat because you may need that one item in the bottom of that box sometime in the future). I do religiously skip over all of the heated debates though and I don’t read FRUA chat unless I have a specific question I need answered.

Instead of these types of heated controversial issues; however, I prefer instead to argue about things like why it makes more sense for M to sew on the kid’s boy scout badges than for me to do it because scouting is a “male thing”. See this argument might actually be beneficial. I might ultimately not have to sew on any badges. I am still working on this argument. I need some better argument skills. Can anyone recommend a good book on this? Something that ultimately makes M feel like it was his idea to begin with?

Perhaps I could get M to do all of the rest of the adoption paper work if I had such a book. He could just tell me where to sign. Wouldn’t that be nice???

Labels: FRUA