I recently told M that I know how easy it will be to fall in love with our referral, but I think I might have a little bit of a hardened heart in the beginning - mixed with a bit of denial - to protect myself emotionally until I walk out of that court room. Then I will let out a big sigh of relief and hug my new child as truly ours.
I guess there are never any guarantees for us as adoptive parents or birth parents. There are lost referrals, long waits, failed court days, lost accreditations, miscarriages and still births. There are severe special needs, delays, fatal conditions, diseases, infections and accidents, etc. that can happen at any time to our child (ren). There are no promises of total protection for anyone.
Despite this; however, we just go on loving these children anyway. It is a risk to our hearts, but how much worse to never love or care about a child. I know this is easy for me to say as I have never had these hard things happen to me (except the reaccreditation delay- which is now resolved), but everyone has their different trials and an unknown future. I just hope and pray that things will work out for everyone in the end- that eventually we will all be able to bring home our forever child that is meant for each individual family and that our experiences with them will be all we dreamed.
Labels: waiting for referral