Thursday, March 23, 2006
Waiting for Referral: Girls Just Want to Have Fun
The crisis is abated. I think M just had a knee-jerk reaction to reading about yet another lost referral. He has been working nights this week. So, he had been working all night long at the hospital 7:30PM- about 8:30AM. With an accumulative lack of sleep over 5 preceeding nights. So, in this state he arrives home and hears another lost referral story and just reacted. He went right to sleep after our "discussion" and woke up several hours later feeling much better about everything. It is amazing what a little bit of sleep can do to make you see everything in a more positive light.

Thanks so much for all of the wonderful name suggestions! I am sure we will be able to agree on something. Despite, our morning crisis discussion, I have been feeling really excited about the adoption. More than usual. I am convinced that it will happen this year. One of the things I am most excited about is experiencing all of the fun toddler years that I remember with my older kids. It is so fun to take them to places you remember enjoying as a kid- the wading pools, the park, the kiddie rides, etc. And as they grow older it becomes even more fun because you get to be a kid again through your child.

Did you all jump rope as kids? Chinese jump rope and jacks were my favorite recess pastime. I also really enjoyed making up dances with my friends to songs like Chicago’s “It’s Hard to Say I’m Sorry” or “Don’t You Want Me” by Human League or “We Don’t Need No Education” by Pink Floyd. Later on it was… Devo’s “Whip It” and every Yaz song that came out. Good times.

I think this is one reason that I wanted to adopt a girl- to sort of re-live my childhood. Having boys- it has been more like re-living my brothers lives. Which was fun too- I had great times with my brothers! I know my new daughter won’t be exactly like I was, but I expect to see some similarities. I expect to go through baby dolls and Barbie dolls and gymnastic classes, etc. I will let her decide her own likes and dislikes, but I think there are some things that appeal to most every young girl.

Perhaps I need to let go of this expectation. I mean I don’t want her to be just like me or to feel pressured to be the person I never was- fulfill my unfulfilled dreams or something. It is not like that. I just want to re-experience some of those young girl times- sort of vicariously. Like the sleepovers, the new girl outfits, the girl toys (can we say Easy Bake Oven- I loved that!), the birthday parties, the boyfriends, the girl talk, the shopping, the outings, etc. Is this weird? Do others want children to- in a way- re-live their life over? Am I being selfish here? I mean that is not the only reason I would like to adopt a little girl, but I know that plays into it.

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4 Comments:
Blogger Margaret said...
I doesn't sound to me like you want to relive your live through your daughter. It sounds more like you want to share some of those same experiences with her. It's subtle, but it's a difference.

I'm glad M is better about adopting today. It's undeniably the biggest risk we've all ever taken. At times I question why in the world I'm doing this, too. And I know my boy. I can only imagine how hard it is when you don't know exactly who you're striving for yet.

Blogger LeggyP said...
Can't say I blame M for being freaked because its wigging me out (should I switch countries, etc.), but glad to know he's come around again.

Anonymous Sandra said...
Jen,
THat's probably one of the reasons I love being a parent so much is re-living my childhood through them. I don't think it's bad as long as you're not trying to prove anything through them.
And by the way, I bought the easy-bake oven for Madison because of all the great memories I had and after it took a half hour to bake one cookie that all 6 of us split, I realized perhaps I had glamorized the memory! She always begs to use it again though!

Blogger Starfish said...
I totally agree with Margaret. I had such a wonderful childhood I can't wait to give my child those same kinds of expriences. So what if you have a little fun yourself in the process! Just don't elbow her out of the way because you want to take the little cake out of the easy bake oven!!

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